Randy Keirn

Episode (62) – How to manage a conflict situation


stitcher

 

Randy Keirn is the director of the Fully Involved Consulting Company, a leader and training professional with over 25 years of experience in the Fire Services. He specializes in achieving results in the areas of effective communication, conflict management, leadership development and cultural transformation. He had a privilege of working with organizations such as Harley-Davidson Motorcycle Corporation.

 

On today’s show,

 

Randy shares a lot of tips on how to resolve any conflict situation.

 

Randy also covers,

 

  • The background story of how he became a firefighter
  • A lot of things that are difficult when you begin later become some of your greater strengths
  • One conflict situation that helped him learn how to manage people better and become a leader
  • The first step in learning how to manage a conflict is learning how to control your emotions
  • The more you practice the choice of not responding negatively, the better you will get at managing conflict situations

 

  • Two questions to ask yourself in a conflict situation:

 

  1. What are my triggers?
  2. What is the underlying value, why is it so important to me?

 

  • Two techniques to handle a conflict:

 

  1. Stop and breathe
  2. Say: ‘Let me take a minute to think about this’

 

  • The difference between delayed responding and avoiding
  • If you’re asking yourself: ‘Should I say or do something? ’, the answer is already ‘yes’
  • Effective listening is about 2 things: being present and really listening to the other person and being curious
  • In order to master conflict don’t attack the person, attack the problem and find a solution
  • His Life Changing Questions are: ‘If you could be at your funeral, what would you want your friends and family to say about you?’ and ‘Where you at, where you are going, how you gonna get there?’
  • How B.J. Fogg’s system called ‘Three Tiny Habits’ works
  • His rituals are: a little meditation, a little journaling, and a little reading each day
  • How to form a habit by having an anchor, something that you already do in your life regularly
  • Thing on his bucket list is doing some more traveling

 

Tweets

Randy Keirn is sharing his Life Changing Question. You can listen here Click To Tweet Learn how to master a conflict in your business and life with Randy Keirn's tips Click To Tweet Don't know how to resolve conflict in your life? Randy Keirn gots you covered Click To Tweet

 

Resources Mentioned in this show:

http://randykeirn.com/

Recommended Reading:

Transcription

Welcome to Episode No. 62 of the Life-Changing Questions podcast. On today’s show, we have a gentleman, who is a leader and a training professional with over 25 years of experience in the Fire Services. His name is Randy Keirn and he is the director of the Fully Involved Consulting Company. He specializes in achieving results in the areas of effective communication, conflict management, leadership development and cultural transformation. He’s had the privilege of working with organizations such as Harley-Davidson Motorcycle Corporation. I am fully excited to be hearing from Randy of the Fully Involved Consulting Organization. Randy, welcome to the show today.

If just one question could immediately transform the quality of your life or the results of your business, would you want to know what that question was? Life and business strategist, Kevin Bees, interviews success masters to discover their life-changing questions. Welcome to the Life-Changing Questions podcast.

KEVIN:
So Randy, welcome to the Life-Changing Questions podcast. It’s great to have you on the show.

RANDY:
And it’s great to be here. Thanks for the honour of being here.

KEVIN:
Randy, we just shared in your bio, over 33 years of working in the Fire Service, you are a leader and a trainer, you look after 3 different Fire Stations, and you have spent time over the past, training organizations such as Harley-Davidson Motorcycle Corporation. We would love to hear a little bit about your background. How did you come to where you are right now?

RANDY:
Well, it really goes back to when I graduated high school. I was kind of just deciding like what path I wanted to take and my brother just graduated from the fire academy; he’s a couple of years older than me, and I really wanted to be a fire fighter, but I was in that 18-year-old age, where I am like, you know, do I want to be like my brother? So I went to the police academy and talked to them and they said, ‘Nope, you are too young.’ So I went to the fire academy. It was the best choice in my life and I started them [0:01:54] 18, I became a fire fighter, EMT, Emergency Medical Technician then on a journey for 33 years now. So it has been fantastic.

KEVIN:
That’s good. And so 33 years in the forces and you oversee now 3 different Fire Stations and you must see some amazing things now. I know one of the things that you mentioned in your Bio is that you spent a lot of time training and educating and leading in those organizations now. So I wonder if you could tell us a little bit about the work that you do to train and educate?

RANDY:
Well, like a lot of things that are difficult when you begin, they later on become some of your greater strengths. I would love to say I was a wonderful leader out of the gate, but that wasn’t the case. So just a little bit of background. I am in my mid 20s when I got promoted. I really think I am qualified. I had excessive education almost in every area of the Fire Service and I was really ready, so I thought. And I was managing a company with an engine company and a rescue crew out of it and this started out really well. I mean, the crews are real receptive of me and we are doing a lot of training and really things were going great and about a month on the job, I was circling the station and checking on the crews, probably micromanaging because I think that’s what my job is at the time. And I noticed one of my senior fire fighters, who is much older than me, very well respected, [0:03:13] named John, introverted, quiet, but just had a real presence about it and he really wasn’t doing what he was supposed to be doing, which was checking the truck out, checking the equipment out. He was actually just hanging out with a friend, talking. So first, I just kind of like acknowledged them that, made eye contact just to let them know, you know, I see you are not doing what you need to do, but I’ll give you a few minutes, so I gave him one more time, I came back and John is still sitting there, having a conversation and I thought, ‘Well, I better say something.’ So I walked over to John. I said, ‘Hey, John, you know, I really need you to check out the truck and the equipment before we get a call.’ And I just paused and looked at him and he was sitting on the bumper of the engine. He slowly stood up and looked down on me and said, ‘Go, do it yourself.’ So I just stood there and like thinking that I cannot believe he just did this and he did in front of a civilian I didn’t know, a friend of his. I paused for a few seconds and I just looked at him and just a lot of thoughts were going through me, in my head, and so I opened my mouth and nothing came out. I literally stood [0:04:08] in silence for a few seconds until the point where I was uncomfortable and I turned off and walked away. So out of that very difficult time, I didn’t talk to John initially, I eventually did talk to John, but out of that very difficult experience that almost led to promotion actually, is within a couple of weeks [0:04:25] I was in front of the chiefs and the chiefs said they gave me another chance. So I had to learn how to manage people and that really led me on a path [0:04:33] how to do conflict management and really had to become a leader because I really looked a lot in the technical side of things, but I didn’t really do much on the people side of things and that, up that difficult, difficult time at the time, I mean, I was most probably into tears, because I thought my career was ending before it even got started, led me on this path to where I am still on a journey. I really wanna help others that have gone through those conflict situations to manage it better and be a more effective resoluter. So that difficult time is really what has created my path now and gave me the opportunity to speak and coach others.

KEVIN:
Yeah, wow, and I can really feel for you being in that situation, where someone, you know, you are in conflict with someone. You may not have expected it, you may not want to do, but certainly someone has a different opinion from you and wants to go on a different direction, or hey, just doesn’t want to do their work. Now I think we all have this experience on a day-to-day basis, whether it’s for our working life or hey, maybe even in our personal relationships. So over the years, Randy, I sense you built up some expertise around this and I think you would do this situation very differently now if it happened again. So I wonder if you could give us some tips or advice, how do we manage conflict in our life and in order to get like a positive resolution?

RANDY:
Well, I think the first critical thing you have to start to learn how to manage, is your emotions because in that moment, that was a fight or flight moment and for me obviously it was a flight moment. I didn’t do anything and I left. So being able to control my emotions was the first thing I had to learn how to manage. And you see that a fight response to this, some people do in which they start yelling. Either way your conflicts gonna get worse; it’s gonna escalate and just not effective, so learning how to manage your emotions is really the first thing we gotta get a hold of. Now what’s interesting is, people don’t think you have the ability to manage your emotions. I recently was coaching someone and it was a personal issue. There was a woman that was kind of upset with herself because she was yelling at her kids and I asked, I said, “Do you yell to your kids in public?” And she goes on, never. So I said, it’s a choice. And then she realized for the first time there was a choice. The emotional issue going on inside was a choice on how she responds. So the emotion’s natural; it happens, but the trigger, the option of responding is a choice. So understanding what’s triggering you and then understanding it’s a choice. The more you practice that choice of not responding in a negative way, the better you will get. So for me, I had to learn how to stay there and engage. That was my learning opportunity. For others that are in the fight mode, they actually have to learn how to manage their emotions not to fly off the handle because again fight or flight, natural triggers, but the response if you default, is not really effective.

KEVIN:
And so I guess, our prisons are probably full with people, who don’t manage their emotions in that moment. In that very situation, maybe a fight or flight situation comes up and maybe they choose to fight. They maybe choose to do something that isn’t really in alignment with their best interests, but in that moment, in that emotion, they maybe take some choices or some decisions that we don’t want. So I picked a bit of an extreme example there because not everyone listening on this call is going to be in prison and I don’t know if we have any people listening in prison. But how do we deal with that? If our emotions come up very strongly, what is the way to make a choice or respond any different way, Randy?

RANDY:
So there’s a couple of basic things to consider. First of all, knowing what your triggers are. You know, we are creatures of habit, so we really think about, what are the situations or people that actually trigger your emotions. Spend some time thinking about that. So what are my triggers? And then the next step I’ll ask you to do is, go one layer deep, understand what is underlying, what’s the cause? What I often find, almost always, the reason it’s an emotional trigger is because it’s the value system’s being challenged. So what is the core value that’s really important? If you think about knowing that, before you are going to a situation, and this is really important – this person has a tendency to encroach my values in this area – you are much more prepared not to respond. So understanding what your trigger is and more deeply what is the value, the underlying value, why is it so important to you. So having a better understanding of yourself is a good place to start. Now as far as behaviours, I think there’s a couple of key things to do. I know it sounds simple -Breathe. Just breathe. Stand [0:08:46], take a few breaths, and just kind of manage your emotions because emotions are mental and physical. So if you control one, you have control of the other. So if I can’t control my physical tension, right, take a few breaths and relax, you actually ease your mind. While I ease my mind, my physical will also relax. The other thing is, if you can’t, if this is a fight or flight trigger and you don’t feel like you can handle it, just say I need a minute to think about this. I just need, you know, a few minutes. And the same goes for the other person. If they are having a fight or flight response, I give them the opportunity to take a few minutes and collect themselves. So delayed responding is like probably The one of the most impactful things you can do. Then it goes not only for being in person, but text messages, writing emails. I have a good friend that sometimes I just bounce ideas when I am angry of her and she is like, you know, ‘Why don’t you write it down and send to me an email?’ She knows I have to think it through and have a delay before I take action. And that’s a way you can make a world of a difference.

KEVIN:
Ah, yes, I recognize that. I think there have been many times where I wanted to respond emotionally to an email and you type it out on the keyboard and you just save your drafts overnight and I read again in the morning and if it still feels appropriate to send that reply then great, but more often than not, you’ll go back and edit and change it when you come back the next day because you are in a different emotional state. So, what I love there then in summary is, if you are in a conflict situation, stop and breathe. If you need to take a minute to think about something, just say, hey, let me take a minute to think about it. So that’s two very powerful techniques to handle a conflict. Is there anything else that you would answer that as well, Randy, that we can also apply?

RANDY:
Well, one thing I wanna point out – delayed responding is very different than avoiding. Now I told you my, I think we are naturally fighters or flighters naturally. I think we just have a test, you can do one or the other. So being a flight person, which actually most people, the majority of people are. So late responding and avoiding are very different. Delayed responding is acknowledging what’s going on and saying, I’ll be back, ha, ha. Where avoiding, my experience with avoiding, when I walked away from John, as I am walking away, I am telling myself, go back, and then, you know, I’ll say, I’ll go back in an hour. Then I’ll go back in 2 hours. And it’s just all day, like, saying that and before long the day was done. And the further I got away from the incident, the more I justified walking away. So I actually justified my actions. So avoiding, I didn’t say I was coming back and I didn’t. So delayed response is, ‘John, we need to talk about this. I need a few minutes to think, collect my thoughts’ then it will be okay to leave.

KEVIN:
So don’t avoid, delay.

RANDY:
Yeah, [0:11:16] a very clear distinction between the two because most people, we are avoiders and we leave with the intention to come back, you probably won’t. Let me touch one more on this. I think this is a critical learning for me and [0:11:28] this can learn from this also. When I walk away, I can later on justify why I did that action. It’s easier to do. I don’t know why, but after you walk away and avoid and you can justify. From my experience is, with the realization, this is one of the key questions of my life, when I ask myself, should I say something, should I do something? And it suddenly hit me one day, if I am asking myself that question, I already have my answer.

KEVIN:
Hmm… and already if you ask yourself that question, you already have your answer. Does that mean you should say something or you should walk away?

RANDY:
Absolutely! Because there is some value in you that’s been challenged. You know, I am mostly talking about leaders, but really you don’t have to be a leader. I mean, you could be in a restaurant and someone’s crossing the line and talking rudely to somebody and your inner voice is saying, you need to say something, you need to do something. Are you asking yourself, should I say something, should I do something, my belief, I learnt from my experience, if I am asking myself that question, I already know my answer and it’s ‘yes’. I used to justify it later on, now I know. So I initially would continue avoiding, but when I saw something wrong, I would turn and walk away naturally, but as soon as I ask myself that question, I would stop in my tracks, turn around and reengage.

KEVIN:
Yeah, got it. Okay. So then naturally, if that question naturally comes up for you, should I say something, then the answer is ‘yes’. And of course, you choose to engage at that point, hopefully after having breathed and having a clear thought around what it is you are gonna say.

RANDY:
Perfect.

KEVIN:
Wow, Randy, that’s really great. Let’s give us a clear understanding of this, so if in any situation of conflict, make sure we take that time to breathe; make sure if do need to delay, delay it, but don’t avoid the situation, its only gonna make things worse; and if you have a questioning whether you should say something [0:13:08] make sure you do, speak up and go ahead and address the situation. Randy, is there anything else that you would recommend to us from point of view of managing conflicts or dealing with conflict or does that cover all of it?

RANDY:
I could spend [0:13:18] hours on this, but I think I’ll share one more and this is a skill that I think is absolutely critical and I teach almost in every leadership program I teach. You know, a big part of conflict is we literally see it differently. So one of the most important things we can do to help master conflict, right, is to make it about the problem not the person and understand how they are seeing it. And we do that by listening. So the skill I’m gonna talk about is really, how do you effectively listen? We are so distracted now, I mean, we have technology, devices, buzz and the ring and we have screens in the background, so you really have to take the time to listen. And I know there’s all kinds of things out there about being an effective listener, an active listener, but not many of them actually tell you how to do it. So the first thing I ask, in your office setting, you are on the phone. When you are talking to somebody, are you doing anything else? We know the research says multitasking is less effective and takes longer and I will tell you as a trained coach, if I am not giving my full attention, I am not hearing the paraverbals, the tones, the speed of words and everything else and there’s so much not being said that you have to listen for it. So I need to be present. I need to be in the moment. When you used to walk into my office, you used to talk to the back of my head. Now you walk into my office, now I realized, well, I can’t have a good conversation with them talking to the back of my head. So I turn off my [0:14:38] I turn and face __. When someone is in a conversation with me, I will not answer my phone. And actually ever since I started that, I have turned my phone on silent. I have gotten so good to be in present now, my phone rings, I actually don’t even notice it most of the times now, its [0:14:51]. So the second thing I ask you to do is, be curious. Especially in conflict. We have a confirmation bias, right? So what that is, is we have a belief system and we are gonna look for things that prove we are right and we are gonna look for things that prove them wrong. So the confirmation bias. We are looking for that information. So what really curious people do is, just be present and curious. Okay, I always talk about what does a curious [0:15:14] look like, right? Their eyes are open; they are leaning forward; they are asking questions. They really wanna understand. Stephen Covey said, I think, ‘Understand before being understood’, right? Take the time to understand where they are coming from. Now here’s the great thing. The more you get in the talk, based on research we know this, the longer they talk, the happier they are. They will rate the conversation the highest. There is also a new research coming on about connections [0:15:39] actually us connecting on wavelengths, which is a pretty amazing new research coming on. So being truly present and really listening to the person, I mean, there’s actual chemical, physiological, mental, all kinds of things going on to connect you with that person. It makes it less about the person and more about the problem. If you are present and curious, you will solve so many of your problems. You will let them release that tension, their anger, you will understand what are their thoughts and feelings, what they want. You know, when you have all that, then they are gonna listen to you. So it’s funny, you give up your power and let them talk and being in control, you actually gain power in the process. So they will buy in and understand and believe you that you really wanna work through this. It’s just an amazing transformation when you really can be present and curious for somebody. So do that and makes sense of the skill building I was talking about.

KEVIN:
Makes sense and a very powerful distinction. So I think it’s very clear then we have a confirmation bias. We have a tendency to prove ourselves right or make sure we are right. But what you are saying is, if we first seek to understand before trying to be understood, can make a major difference. We can be present with the person, they can feel understood and then we’re gonna be able to find a way forward. You said something before, I didn’t think I fully caught the sentence. You said focus on the problem, not the person? Did I hear that the right way around?

RANDY:
Yeah, going back to be in a right and then be in a wrong, we often focus on the person. If we are going focus on the person, you’re never gonna win, right? I mean, again, if you just focus on the person, it becomes a [0:17:08] us and not the problem. So you’re never gonna solve your problem once it becomes personal.

KEVIN:
Ahh!! So make sure it’s about the problem and of course it sounds like you have the ability to become more objective then if it’s about the problem as opposed to your differences with the person.

RANDY:
Well, what you get about the person, you are gonna start attacking each other’s character, you are gonna attack what they do, you are gonna attack what they say, you don’t believe anything they say, it’s just a loser. If you really wanna solve the problem, you wanna understand how they see it, how they feel about it, what they are thinking about it, the solutions. It’s a different game. It’s two different games. Right? One is about attacking a person and being right and making them wrong. The other one is about attacking the problem and making a solution.

KEVIN:
Cool. Don’t attack the person, attack the problem and find a solution. I love that. What a really great distinction around here. Really fantastic. So in summary then in terms of managing conflict, stop, take the opportunity to breathe; if you need to delay, delay, but don’t avoid; and always be curious around what’s happening and seek to understand before you try and be understood and of course, attack the problem and not the person. So Randy, really fantastic insights. Now, the key reason we have the show is to understand a little bit more about people’s thinking because we know people’s thinking impacts their emotions, their emotions can lead to the actions, their actions lead to the results. So what we would love to know from you, Randy, is what’s one question that you have asked that’s had the biggest positive impact on your life or the life of the people that you serve?

RANDY:
I have actually two answers. I hope you’ll allow me to do that. I think that one of the best coach – I actually hired a coach, a friend of mine and we did a strategic planning session one year. I think it validated a lot for who I am as a person and this was only a few years ago – and she just simply said, if you have the ability to be at your own funeral, what would you want that your loved ones and friends and everything to be saying about you? And I am not sure why, but that question hit my hard. I knew the answer, but it kind of clarified like what was important for me. And it was simply, you know, I want people to be happy they met me and better off for it. I really wanna serve others. That’s really what I love to do. So I think it just gave me a lot of clarity. Again, when you are gone, what would you want your friends and family to say about you? What’s your legacy? That one really gave me a lot of clarity as far as what’s important in my life.

KEVIN:
That makes a lot of sense. So you got clarity from that and if you’re going to be on your own funeral, you would want your friends to be saying, ‘Hey, he was a guy who served others and made a difference in my life.’

RANDY:
Absolutely. And then, you know, I do a lot of work with individuals and teens and organizations, I know this is over simple, but it’s so – on a big scale, I did strategic planning with a team, a big technology team about a year or so ago. I know it’s over simple, but it’s so powerful. ‘Where you at, where you going, how you gonna get there?’ And I actually think sometimes the simple questions are the most powerful. You know, I think that we over complicate the process. I will be honest. I was going to the strategic planning session. I was doing an offside with a very high performing technology team and I actually reached out to coach, a friend of mine and I was going over my program and he shared that with me. He says why you could do all that? He goes, then I would simplify to these three questions [0:20:14] multi-day retreat with his team, ‘where we are, where we going, and how are we gonna get there?’ Like I know it’s over simple, but I think sometimes the simple ones are the best because we make things too complex sometimes.

KEVIN:
I like that. And there’s a very, very solid power in there. So, where you are now, where you going and how you gonna get there. Now, from your experience Randy, then mainly you answered that question yourself or when you led a team through answering that, what change, what happened as a result of asking those three questions?

RANDY:
Once you have a clear vision that’s compelling and that’s exciting, everybody is on board because remember they contributed to this, right? Where do we wanna go? Then you simply have to work for a couple of days, you know, this was a couple of day retreat on how we gonna get there. I mean there was substantial organizational change, new initiatives. I mean there was a very multifaceted answer on how they were gonna get to where they wanted to go. Again, this was a high performing team. They were one of the most successful teams in this large technology corporation. So now I just realized that the original questions probably seated the, where we are, where we’re going and then lastly it’s critical for them, how we’re gonna get there. It’s interesting, a lot of people try to hold teams accountable, but they miss a really, really important step, was commitment, [0:21:27] huge. You have to get people committed. So how do you get them by in. One of the best places to get by in having them be part of the process. And again how we gonna get there?

KEVIN:
Fantastic. Brings a lot of clarity and a really great example then. So, this is something you can use for yourself and even better for your leader of a team, ask it of your team. So ‘Where are you at, where are you going, and how you gonna get there?’ And what I’m hearing from your example is, it helped the team get a really clear vision together, a vision that they created so, of course they were bought into it and that of course were excited then go in and change. You said that led to a substantial change, so ‘where you at, where you going, and how you gonna get there?’ I think that’s a really great summary. Now Randy, one of the key questions, we also would love to ask is around the habits and the rituals. We say that the habits and rituals that you had in the past have led you to where you are now and habits and rituals you have now are gonna lead you into your future. Now what I recognized from you, you continually study and develop and learn and grow and I can see by your Bio and the matter of qualifications you have after your name that’s certainly a key habit that you have to continually grow and develop. I wonder if you can share with us a little bit about what are some of the key habits and rituals that you have in addition to your continual growth?
RANDY:
I would love to. I actually like to start by sharing a high level approach. I have a study in habits because I would say I think learning habits is critical. And I actually love the work of a gentleman named B.J. Fogg. He created a system called ‘Three Tiny Habits’. And it was years ago I first came across his information and went to a website; he had a one-week long free program and I think he was a university staff possibly. And this is 1-week long, 3 tiny habits. And it’s so simple, but so powerful. When you are going to create a new habit, it’s got to be tiny. So tiny you know you are gonna do it. The other thing he says is, you need to anchor it. So one of my original habits, I’ll be honest, I was not much of a reader and at that point this is not that many years ago, I only read a couple of books in my life and I always loved to read, but never made myself, made the time to do it. So one of my tiny habits was to read each night. Now just to put it in perspective, I started out. Again I wanted a 100% success. I still do this for my clients too. What are we gonna do every day with 100% success? It was simply starting now was read one page. Now after a week of this, out of the three tiny habits, I was one habit. After doing a week of that, I’m like, now what? He didn’t say what to do. And I said, well, I will just keep doing the one page and see what happens. Within 2 weeks, I have read a book, a 300-page book in 2 days.

KEVIN:
Wow!

RANDY:
Now for me to read a book in 2 days seemed impossible. But organically I had, it’s interesting because a lot of times we set goals, they become hurdles. And his approach is not a hurdle, it’s a step. It’s a step; it’s easy to take. It’s so easy to take you know you are gonna do it. So again a trigger. His trigger, his anchor actually. So an anchor is something you know you’re gonna do every day. So I read at night times and when I put my keys – we still carry pagers on our fire department as a chief – put my pager and key on the night stand, I picked up my book and I read. I also was journaling. I was doing a grateful journal, which I took a minute to do, a grateful journal. I still believe very highly in that. I love that. But I always start on myself because I think it is easy to be grateful for other people, but we really should be grateful for ourselves first because that internal dialogue is [0:24:49] more powerful than almost anything we face. So I was doing a little meditation, a little journaling, and a little reading each day. And I stuck with it for a long time after that. So I had an anchor and then I also had a habit. It was so small, I know I would do it. That’s really become a system I continue to apply. I just finished working out every day. Again my goal is only 10 minutes, but I just finished working out every day for 6 months without missing a day.

KEVIN:
Wow!

RANDY:
And during this time, my average was 30 minutes, but every day I did at least 10. Now I was travelling international, I went to several new countries this year and so sometimes I be getting off the airplane and I would go over there, for the next 10 minutes I would be doing squats or you know, whatever, I would get it done and I would not go to bed without having it done. It all started organically, which is 10 minutes. It was such a habit, I know I could do without fail. I just did it for 6 months without missing a single day. And the only reason I stopped, I’ll be honest, we just had Irma come to Florida. I was on duty, I started running calls. I only had like 2 hours sleep, started running calls at 5 in the morning and my men and I were still running calls, I hadn’t worked out yet. So I just gave myself permission and we just got through Irma and some travel. So I did exceed 6 months without missing a day.

KEVIN:
Incredible, incredible story! And so the key distinction in that then is anchor it – anchor, have something that you already do in your life regularly. So if you regularly putting your keys on a stand at night, then pick up your book. And it needs to be something easy, not say, hey, you’re gonna commit to reading a whole book per day, [0:26:27] you gonna start with 1 page per day or exercise, it’s not you’re gonna exercise for an hour a day, you gonna do 10 minutes per day. One of my mentors, Tony Robbins, of course says, if you can’t find 10 minutes per day in your life to do exercise, you don’t have a life, ha,ha. I kind of like that distinction. I know it’s very powerful. And Randy, one of the other things that we would love to hear from you is around your bucket list. Is there something that you have been so proud to have ticked off from your bucket list already or is there something that really stands out for you that you still want to go and accomplish or achieve or do?

RANDY:
You know, my bucket list, I think something that’s really important for me and you know, it’s funny, I jokingly call it mid-life crisis. The number of 30, 40 [0:27:06] 50, the number’s really ___ significant to me. To me it was a wonderful opportunity to say, if this next 10 years is it, what do I wanna accomplish? And 30 was very significantly different than 40 and 40 was very significantly different than 50. And 50 actually surprised me, which was just, you know, a year and half ago. One of the things that I really, if this is my last 10 years on earth, one of the things I really wanna do is, do some more travelling. So I really upped my travel. This is something I enjoy. That is part of some of my long-term goals I wanted to accomplish. So the last couple of years, I have gone to three countries this year, new countries. I am getting ready to leave on Sunday to Portugal, which will be my fourth country and actually plus a number of [0:27:50] States, so I just take this 10-year reflection times. You should do that every year, but I think the 10 years for me personally have been pretty powerfully significant from initially my 20s, from my career development and just [0:28:05] of your life, I think 40s was significant for that midlife crisis and really becoming, defining myself to become a professional speaker and reaching that goal. So each of the 10 years have been significant for me, long-term goals.

KEVIN:
And so Portugal, here he come! Randy, one final question for you on today’s episode. If there was one book you would recommend for our listeners to read, what book would you recommend?

RANDY:
Well, that’s like asking like which child I love the most? Ha, ha. Now, I think personally the books that had the greatest impact for me years ago was Wayne Dyer “Power of Intention”, just really hit me. I do a lot of leadership training and also I work with a lot of new leaders. So I wanna share a second one, even if I break the rules. I love “It’s Your Ship”. Again I just connect it with me. Michael Abrashoff commanded a ship in the military and his philosophies are so fantastic. Easy to read book and I gonna really highly recommend it for new leaders. The concepts he implemented are a very short order during war time on a ship. It’s just phenomenal. So those are my personal one and then professional one, when I do a lot of work with new leaders. Just two I shared [0:29:16].

KEVIN:
Great recommendations. So Wynn Dyer, the “Power Of Intention” and “It’s Your Ship” by Abrashoff. Check out the page notes at kevinbees.com/podcast and you will be able to see a summary of today’s episode plus our link there to all of those books. Randy, you have been so fantastic on today’s call. We really appreciate everything you shared and just as a recap, so we had several life-changing questions today. Number one is, if you could be at your funeral, what would you want your friends or family members or people who are there to be saying about you. And that can be a very powerful way to discover how do you wanna live your life. You need to live your life in a way so that that can actually happen when you get there. And either for yourself or for your team, you can ask this combination of 3 questions – where you at right now, where you going, and how you gonna get there? In thoroughly answering these questions, you are gonna find yourself get a very clear vision, you can find yourself flying into the vision again excited for it and expect substantial change coming up from the back of that. So Randy, thank you so much for your time and energy today. We really appreciate having you on the call.

RANDY:
My pleasure. Thank you for having me.

Thanks so much for listening to the life-changing questions podcast with your host, Kevin Bees. We’ll catch you next time.

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