Michelle Masters

Episode (66) – How to change your money mindset


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Michelle Masters is an NLP trainer and a leading expert in the area of money mindsets. She has been working with clients, students and organizations to create change and remove blocks to success, love, health, and well-being. She also teaches NLP to students wanting to become Practitioners, leads and facilitates Family Constellations, teaches courses in how to facilitate Family Constellations and develops and facilitates workshops designed to create lasting changes for participants, such as Money Magic, and Weight Magic.

On today’s show,

Michelle talks about how to change our money mindsets and create positive change in every aspect of our life.

Michelle also covers,

• How she went from being an NLP trainer to becoming an expert in area of money mindset
• What is unconscious patterning and how it works
• Two kinds of unconscious patterning that keep people stuck are: unconscious belief and identity structure and unconscious family loyalties
• We don’t perceive things as they are; we perceive them through our beliefs about ourself and the world
• Examples of how our beliefs work in everyday life
• Our early learnings become automated, and people consciously try to affirm them later in life
• Our system is processing 2 million things per second, and we give conscious attention to 5 to 9 things at a time
• How and why the desire to belong to our family makes us feel guilt if we do better then them
• Even if you know how to change belief and identity, it’s hard from the inside to be able to do it in yourself
• If we want to change our beliefs, we should work with somebody who knows how to change them
• If we want to change unconscious family loyalty, we need family constellation
• How to learn to honor the fate of your family, and then make a different choice for yourself
• Her Life Changing Question is: ‘What would you like?’
• Our wants and desires are something through what we reach out to life
• Her habits are: starting a day with cheerful fun or silly music and playing computer solitaire in her downtime to process what’s been happening
• Thing on her bucket list is to become fluent in French and Italian

Tweets

Michelle Masters is sharing her Life Changing Question. You can listen here Click To Tweet Ready for changes in your life? If you don't know where to start, listen to Michelle Masters Click To Tweet Generating more income quicker than you ever imagined isn't possible? Michelle Masters says you can do it Click To Tweet

Resources Mentioned in this show:

michellemastersnlp.com

michellemastersnlp.com/money-magic/

Recommended Reading:

Transcription

Welcome to Episode No. 66 of the Life-Changing Questions podcast. Would you like to know how to create change in any area of your life? Maybe you would like to know how to change your money psychology so that you can generate more income in life quicker than you ever imagined? Well, our guest today is Michelle Masters. She is a leading expert in the area of your money mindsets and she is going to share with us just that. So stay tuned for an amazing episode.

If just one question could immediately transform the quality of your life or the results of your business, would you want to know what that question was? Life and business strategist, Kevin Bees, interviews success masters to discover their life-changing questions. Welcome to the Life-Changing Questions podcast.

KEVIN:
So Michelle, welcome to the show today!

MICHELLE:
Thank you, Kevin. Nice to be here.

KEVIN:
It’s so great to have you now. I wonder if you could tell us a little bit about your journey. How did you come to be involved with helping people with weight magic and money magic and helping them find a clear path to life?

MICHELLE:
Well, I was actually working as an NLP trainer for NLP and I am still a trainer there. It’s a phenomenal training facility and we are kinda known around for the high quality people we turn out. In 2006, I was sitting in a staff meeting trying to look useful and not take up too much space and the Executive Director actually turned to me and asked me if I would be willing to create a 2-day workshop around money. Now, at the time if you knew me, that was a little like asking Vladimir Putin to do a workshop on humility because I didn’t know anything about money. I had zero relationship with money. My whole life was set up to keep my costs as low as possible so I did do as little as possible, but what I did know was how to create changes for people because that’s what we do all day, every day and so what I did was I designed a workshop that was all change patterns designed around money, focused on money that would both complement each other and build on each other throughout the course of two days. So it was different for one thing that I had never been to any other workshops, but it was all focused on changing the unconscious patterning around money because it’s never the stuff that’s conscious it’s in our way, it’s the stuff that’s unconscious it’s in our way because if we were conscious, we would just change the stuff. And so we have all got unconscious patterning. Most of our unconscious patterning, by the way, working just fine, but the stuff that keeps us stuck is almost all done conscious patterning. And in a little while, if you are interested I can tell you, basically there’s two kinds of unconscious patterning that keep people stuck. So what I did was I designed a workshop that was all addressed to change that patterning and so people would take the workshop and over the days and weeks and months after, like all these changes would show up and then, a year or two later, I started working in some more quantum ways. I went to a Matrix Energetics seminar. I really loved that work, so I added it in and then people started getting changes before the workshop, like they would sign up and the next day get a big cheque in the mail that they weren’t expecting. So it got to be really fun then because it’s a just really profound practical and also quantum magical way of creating our life and creating our money and creating it the way we want it instead of just trying to deal with the way it is.

KEVIN:
I am in for that. If I can sign up [0:03:02] get a big cheque in the mail, I mean, I am coming.

MICHELLE:
[Laughs] Right, exactly.

KEVIN:
You mentioned there are two kinds of unconscious pattern that keep us stuck. I wonder if you could tell us a little bit more about that?

MICHELLE:
Yes, I can. I could talk for days about that. So I’ll try not to [laughs]. I’ll try to keep it [0:03:16]

KEVIN:
If you wanna talk for days, we are still [0:03:16] listen.

MICHELLE:
So the first way is unconscious belief and identity structure. And that has a lot to do, a lot of people hear talk about beliefs and it sounds kind of airy, fairy and out there, but actually there is biology and neurology that shows that our beliefs actually filter our reality. We do not perceive things as they are. We perceive things through our filters, which are a function of our beliefs about ourselves and the world. So none of us experience anything that is objective. We all experience reality through our filters and so when those filters change – and those filters are beliefs and identity – when they change, our lives change. So there’s both your unconscious belief structure and then there is another part of your brain called the reticular activating system, which is designed to look for what it’s already looking for. So the example I use all the time because almost everybody’s had this experience is – say you are thinking about getting a new car and you decide, you know what, I think I would like a red BMW. Actually, I don’t think BMW is kinda red, but a red jeep overnight, the parking lot and highways of your town and village fill up with that car. In reality, there were probably as many the day before, but all of a sudden they are everywhere. That’s because before that your brain literally filtered them out and once that your attention gets put there, because you want it, all of a sudden your brain sees them everywhere. It’s like filtering for that and so beliefs get started in the womb. They start as associations, like a kid just starts associating, like I am here, it feels this way – those two things must be related. So if I am here and the parents are stressed – those two things must be related. And a kid will almost always decide – I am here, they are freaked out – it must be me. Or they are talking about money, they are freaked out – money and freak out must be related. Money and stress must go together. They are working hard – money and hard work must go together. So we do start making all these associations without hardly any ability to look at objectively and those associations become decisions, which become beliefs. By the time we are three, most of our belief and identity are in place. So there’s very little of our conscious mind that can say, hey, you know what, dad and mom are a little freaked out, they [0:05:27] freaked out, this mean [0:05:29] how it is for everybody. There’s no part of our brain that’s developed in those early years that can have that kind of outside perspective, so the first thing that is mostly in our way is all associations that are now automated because it’s not like you have to wake up every morning and remember old leanings. A learning is designed to be automated. So it’s a good thing because otherwise when you woke up in the morning, you would have to relearn how to walk and brush your teeth and talk. So learning is supposed to be automated, so we don’t have to remember it. Once it’s learned, it’s part of us, but some of those early learnings like, oh, I must not deserve very much or I must be a problem or you must have money, it’s hard – those become automated and so consciously a lot of people try to affirm or they try to consciously take actions or behaviours, but to override those consciously, you can only pay attention to 5 to 9 things at any given time. Five to nine. That’s how much conscious attention you have. Five to nine different things. Unconsciously your system is processing upwards of 2 million things per second. So almost all of our mental activity, it’s a huge voting majority of our mental activity, is unconscious. So if you are affirming life is good and things come to me, but you have got a couple of hundred or thousand associations running automatically that ‘oh, no, you have to work hard, you have to struggle, you have to sacrifice, thinking money doesn’t grow on trees, money is the root of all evil’ you got this stuff running automatically then very little of your actual experience is that conscious choice. So when you [0:07:01] those unconscious patterns, basically [0:07:07] what you happen to experience when you came into life and what the people that brought you into life were experiencing. When you can take those associations and change them to what you want your experience to be, then automatically people start having different experiences without working harder, without trying, without having to be smarter, without having to work smarter, without having to invent the next big thing. Okay, I’ll tell you how many people told me when this stuff shifts, they confirmed it because their income doubles and triples and they can’t figure how because they are not doing anything differently. So that scene one is the old patterning. Old unconscious beliefs and identity. Scene two and this is actually the hardest thing to shift and it is responsible for the most of the limitation I see, is unconscious family loyalties. And these are ways in which we limit ourselves or injure ourselves in an unworkable attempt to be loyal to the people we come from because human beings have this huge need to belong. The desire to belong is stronger than the desire to survive, otherwise war wouldn’t be possible. And so we will do anything to belong and sadly we feel our belonging more strongly when we are like the people we come from. And so when we start to have it better than the people we come from, there is this unconscious guilt that kicks in. Kind of like the survival guilt the people have when they survive a tragedy and others didn’t. So quite often we end up trying to heal or carry the burdens of our people in our family, which never works. Trying to take somebody else’s pain is like trying to take somebody else’s food poisoning, right? You can’t do it. You can give yourself food poisoning and suffer along with them, now you have got two people sick, but it won’t actually help them, but this is the instinct of human urge – is to try to heal or carry somebody else’s pain and if that doesn’t work then we will often try to not have it too much better, so as to not flaunt our good fortune in the face of the people we [0:09:03]. Even the people we don’t like that we came from. Even the people we push away that we came from. Unconsciously we are often trying to be just like them.

KEVIN:
Hmm… very interesting, very interesting. And you shared a heap of valuable things there. If I was to try and summarize, you know, the 5 bits of information I have taken out of the 2 million that you have just given me, I guess it’s that one of old patterning, then the key thing here is that we don’t believe what we see, we actually see what we believe. And the challenge with that of course is that most of these beliefs came to us prior to the age of 3 or maybe age of 6, so really if we never examined our unconscious beliefs then we got maybe [0:09:48] running our finances, which is a little bit scary. When you think about it.,

MICHELLE:
Right.

KEVIN:
You would ___ drive your car, right, so [0:09:55] finances. And number two, then is this unconscious family loyalty. I think I can really resonate with this is that we love the people we come from, we want to belong to them, so we don’t want to potentially I [0:10:07] do better then because then of course that may break the belonging. I have heard a great analogy before, Michelle, I’m not sure it’s one that you use, but the idea of crabs in a bucket, in that you know, the fisherman, the crabs that were chucked in the bucket and they don’t even put a lid on this bucket, but as one crab begins to climb out and get out, the other crab may reach out and pull it back in. I think it’s bit of a [0:10:33] that may happen for you succeeding and doing better, there’s a fear that may actually make a disconnect` with the people that we are connected to.

MICHELLE:
Yeah and different from crabs, humans throw themselves in the bucket. A human crab will be outside the bucket looking at crabs in the bucket and jump in.

KEVIN:
Oh! [laughs]

MICHELLE:
This is the problem. It’s not actually even the other crabs pulling us back. It’s those of us that look at other crabs in the bucket and think, okay, Geronimo, I know it’s [0:11:00] but those are my crab people, who am I to be outside the pot when they are in there.

KEVIN:
Huh, interesting. Now once we have some understanding then that we have this old patterning or this unconscious family loyalty, if we have that awareness now, what can we do about it to shift or change?

MICHELLE:
Right, this is the question I always get asked. And in terms of old patterning, like old beliefs and identity structure, it is really hard to change, manually change your own beliefs or identity. This is why I have a job. Because this is what I am doing with people all day, every day. And when I have stuff up, I go see somebody else. Its actually hard from the inside [0:11:40] even if you know how to change belief and identity, it’s hard from the inside to be able to do it on yourself. The best way to do is to work with somebody, who changes beliefs and it doesn’t have to be me, but somebody who knows how to change those patterns out the neurological levels, not just talk about the beliefs, but actually change them at the neurological level and a lot of how we do that is, we have some really sophisticated tools to get access to the parts of the brain that were developing when the original patterning got made and then make new neural associations so that automatically there’s a new learning that starts to run. So people aren’t having to remember to be different. That’s the ideal way – is to work with somebody who knows how to that – to change our patterning. When it comes to unconscious family loyalties, the traditional way of working with them is something called the family constellation and those aren’t available to everybody; you have to have a facilitator in a room and a group full of people, but one of the things that you can do is, first of all you have to notice, right? You have to notice the places where you are replaying somebody else’s life or pattern and then, this is the hardest part, but some part of you has to decide to love them and honour them in a different way. Basically there’s a way of honouring and respecting the pain that was, but we have to be willing to let go of other people’s pain, of let go of trying to heal or change the people we come from, like basically honour their fate, honour their pain, whatever it is, and then make a different choice for us with great love and respect, like find a better way to love them than by replaying their pain or limitation. No, I say that and it is the hardest thing for people to do, but that’s what has to happen. Any of us could be having a much better experience of life right now if we are willing to let go of our family pain, but it’s like getting to the point where we are willing to let it go. That’s the point that I don’t know when it will happen for each person. Usually people in their 20s, it’s harder to get them to do it; they still, on an unconscious level, have hope that they can save or heal their family or make it better for their family. Once people are in their 40s or 50s or 60s, they are starting to get a clue that, you know what, no matter how much I try, it’s not gonna change them; all I can do is change what happens for me. So it actually gets easier as people get older, but it’s a tough thing. As human beings, our hearts sadly are the thing that keep us most stuck, this unworkable way that we try to love the people we come from.

KEVIN:
Yeah, very interesting from that point of view, Michelle. So a couple of ways then, one is getting contact with an expert in this field like yourself or someone of that nature, they can help you shift there and particularly if you want to [0:14:14] unconscious family loyalties and some in the area of family constellation. Of course, you do both this. Now Michelle, if someone was thinking, hey, I like what Michelle is saying, I can tell that she is really great, I would love to work with her, is there somewhere that they could go to get connected with you or your team?

MICHELLE:
Oh, yeah, sure, they can. There’s my website michellemastersnlp that has information about how to contact me for either a private session or for some other workshops I do, either in person in United States or Australia or Europe or wherever I am doing them or my Money Magic class, which is also online. So they can find information about the workshop or contact me through there, that’s the easiest.

KEVIN:
Perfect. So michellemastersnlp.com and check out the Money Magic [0:14:53] if you want to delve even deeper into this. Now, Michelle, what we would love to ask on this show is around the quality of the questions. I mean I have a belief that the quality of the questions we ask of ourselves impacts the quality of our lives. Now, with that being true, if there was one question that you have asked that has had the biggest impact on your life or the life of the clients that you work with, what would that question be?

MICHELLE:
There is a question that we always ask clients and it’s one of the first things that we teach students because I also teach people how to do this work. It’s one of the first things we teach them and I have been teaching this since 1994 and every day that goes by, I become more struck with how profound a question it is. It’s a very simple question and it is so profound and the question is ‘What would you like?’ Because what we discovered is because now we can get access to the patterning that has been in the way, because we can revise that patterning, there is no limits on what we can do or be or have, which puts in an era and in a consciousness of unprecedented choice. We are living now in unprecedented choice. It wasn’t that long ago. You don’t even have to go back a hundred, two hundred years where people didn’t get to really choose where they lived, what they did, who they married, and now we are actually staggering under enormous amounts of choice. It’s a challenge and a beautiful challenge, but the challenge of our generation is navigating choice and to do that we have to ask ourselves ‘What would I like? What do I want? What matters to me?’ Because now you have the tools to change the things that were in the way. Now we can actually start to live the lives we want. I remember giving somebody a present for Christmas one year. It was a book of questions. And I really liked it and a couple of weeks after, I asked her. I said, ‘So what did you think of that book?’ She said, ‘Oh, I never got through to past the first page because on the first page was a question that said ‘what would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?’ And that absolutely stunned, stopped her in her tracks and she put the book down and never opened it again. It is a different way of asking the same question trying to deal with, if you couldn’t fail, trying to deal with some of the reasons people don’t let themselves think about what they want. But that question, if we started everyday with ‘What would I like? What do I want?’ If we made our choices based on what would I like, that is a transforming experience. It’s one I still am asking myself. I am faced right now with an abundance of choices. I have been really blessed with all that offers pouring in right now. And so each time I have to ask myself ‘What would I like?’ because I can’t do everything. So what would I like?

KEVIN:
To be able to do everything? [laughs]

MICHELLE:
I don’t know that I actually do.

KEVIN:
No. Okay. Well, that’s good. I love that question and like you say, it’s a very simple question, ‘what would you like’ and take an attempt to play this. I recognise, particularly my clients that we really don’t stop to get clear on what we would like so, if you are listening right now, stop, ask yourself that question today. Make sure you get clear on what would you like and I think I like the idea, Michelle, that its something that we ask on a daily basis. So we have to decide every day and make our choice every day because if we are deciding that every single day then we probably gonna get to live the kind of life that we want as opposed to asking it once [0:17:53] years and then ____ before we reflect on that again.

MICHELLE:
Right, exactly and a lot of us have problematic issues with our wants and desires, but it’s actually through our wants and desires that we reach out to life. That’s our navigation system. And when we line up with what we really want then things happen in magical ways because we are actually in alignment with us. Our wants and desires are who we are and the tool we are reaching out to life and so just asking that question starts to put us back in touch with our own alignment, with who we are and what matters to us.

KEVIN:
Hmm.. very powerful, very powerful. I am enjoying this call, but I also can’t wait to jump off the call and start asking that question myself [laughs]. Michelle, I would also love to ask you about the habits and rituals that you have. The habits and rituals that we’ve had in the past had led us to where we are now and the habits and rituals that we [0:18:42] today is what’s gonna take us into our future. Now I certainly recognize with the NLP [0:18:48] you can have people make changes in the mind, in the thinking, they also need to condition that, they also need to keep working on that [0:18:56] so what are some of the habits and rituals that you would recommend to have people stick with change [0:19:01]?

MICHELLE:
Well, because a change done well, you don’t have to stick with, I mean, the changes that I had done through this work, I don’t have to stick with it. It’s now automatically part of me, but there’s one habit and ritual that I have always been aware of and there’s one I only recently became aware of and they are not necessarily traditional. So the one that I have always been aware of is, I usually start my day with this really cheerful fun or silly music because that’s the energy that I wanna start my day with is [0:19:29] crush it, but just want a happy and kind of joyful energy. That’s how I like to start my day. And the other one, you know, I used to beat myself up a bit about, I often play computer solitaire, sometimes in my downtime, but I was just travelling for a month and teaching in a bunch of places, going to shoot a documentary [0:19:49] teaching here, teaching there and I had a month of almost nonstop activity and when I got back, I was so [0:19:55] and my partner was gone for a couple of hours and I found myself sitting playing solitaire and I realized I have got a really clean image that that is where I process emotion because it doesn’t take any emotion to play the game. It keeps my head busy, but I would find myself processing everything that had happened in the last couple of months and I hadn’t had a chance to do that and I started to, like, come back in my body, I started to come back on mind because I was finally starting to digest, what had been, 6 weeks or 8 weeks of nonstop activity and that was too much for me. And so I hadn’t realized that there was things that we often kinda of, you know, oh, that’s not being very productive, but in that time I was letting my system kind of make sense of and make peace with and digest everything that had happened and so I am starting to realize there is a real value and benefit for my sanity in having those times of downtime when I am not actually being productive, when I am doing things I don’t get any credit for, but actually let me start to breathe and be human again.

KEVIN:
Hmm.. So taking that time to have that downtime so you can process what’s been happening and what’s been going on. I think that’s a very important habit and so many of us don’t stop to take the time and just stick your bum and do [0:21:09] because you are doing the next thing and the next thing. I think it’s a great habit. Michelle, the other question I would like to ask is around the bucket list in that, if there is one thing that you have been so happy to have accomplished in your life and your career, what is it? Is there something that you still really want to see or experience or have?

MICHELLE:
Well, I am really happy, I mean, I have work I love, I have apartment I love, I live in a beautiful place, I mean, I have such beautiful friends, so there are so many things we are working, but I really do. I would be so happy if, by the time I die, I could also, it’s a small thing, but if I could be fluent also in French and Italian, that would make me so happy because I love those languages, I love those cultures and I just love the joy of being able to communicate in those beautiful languages, so that’s I’m working on those. I am not dead yet, so I still got time.

KEVIN:
Good, wow, it’s fantastic and that would be amazing. Would you ever want to teach in French or Italian?

MICHELLE:
Yes, I think that would be so cool. I have actually done one session in Italian. I had my teacher with me to help me out. I have done two sessions actually in Italian. And I really had this [0:22:09] back my expectations, but I immensely enjoy being able to connect with people through either of those languages, yeah, that’s a real joy.

KEVIN:
Wonderful. And beautiful countries to go and visit as well, France, Italy and I guess there’s some amazing islands that only speak French as well, so you’re gonna have a heap of options when you master those.

MICHELLE:
Well, there you go [laughs]

KEVIN:
And Michelle, if there was one book that you would recommend for our listeners to read, what would that book be?

MICHELLE:
You know, it would depend on your listeners. There’s so many. For some people I would recommend ‘Illusions’ by Richard Bach. For other people I would recommend Florence Scovel Shinn’s ‘The Game of Life and How to Play it’. For other people I would recommend ‘Autobiography of a Yogi’. It depends on the person. Each of those has beauty in it, in different ways.

KEVIN:
Okay. So three great recommendations and I haven’t read anyone. So I think I got some reading to do this weekend. So it is ‘Illusions’ by Richard Bach and I think his other book ‘Jonathan Livingston Seagull’, is that?

MICHELLE:
Aha, yeah, he’s got a couple. One ‘Illusions’, ‘Jonathan Livingston Seagull’, but it’s ‘Illusions’ that I think made the biggest impact on me.

KEVIN:
Okay, great. So we’ll get hold of ‘Illusions’ and ‘The Autobiography of a Yogi’ and what was the other one? The Game of Life?

MICHELLE:
‘The Game of Life and How to Play It’, yeah?

KEVIN:
The Game of Life and How to Play it.

MICHELLE:
It’s a very simple small book. You could probably read it in an hour and she was doing a similar thing of ‘change your thoughts, change your life’. She was kind of doing it through prayer, but when you change the thoughts, life does change.

KEVIN:
Hmm.. Very powerful. What you shared has been absolutely fantastic today. We really enjoyed having you on the show. So much wisdom here. I am gonna be listening back to this episode two or three times. If you want to get access to any of the information shared on the show today, check out kevinbees.com/podcast and of course, if you are interested in working with Michelle or anyone in the team, you can go to michellemastersnlp.com and definitely check out the Money Magic classes, sounds to be very powerful. And of course as a key summary from today’s episode, make sure you ask yourself that life-changing question ‘What would you like? What would you like?’ Michelle, thank you so much for your time and energy today.

MICHELLE:
Thank you, Kevin, I so enjoyed it.

Thanks so much for listening to the life-changing questions podcast with your host, Kevin Bees. We’ll catch you next time.

Hey, you are on bonus time right now on the life-changing questions podcast and I’ve got three bonuses that I would like to share with you and I call them the three S’s. The first ‘S’ is for Show Notes; don’t forget you can get all of the details of the show including the names of the books that were mentioned, the key people that were mentioned on kevinbees.com. The second ‘S’ is Subscribe. Make sure you subscribe to the show. We’re going to be releasing a new episode every single week and our guests are just getting better and better. And I’ve got the third ‘S’, Share it; your friends, family, colleagues, loved ones are really gonna appreciate it when you share such great content with them. That’s it from me and make sure you are asking life-changing questions this week.

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