Gitta Sivander

Episode (64) – How to use non-verbal communication to improve your confidence


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Gitta Sivander is often regarded as a ‘secret weapon’ to helping people improve their confidence and delivery. She has taught dynamic expression techniques in 7 different countries to hundreds of top professionals, global speakers and executive leaders.

On today’s show,

Gitta shares insightful tips and techniques on how to improve your confidence and delivery in business and life by using non-verbal communication.

Gitta also covers,

• How she has started learning to read body communication because of her hearing issue
• She helps leaders and presenters come across to the audience in a more impactful and mesmerizing way by realizing how other people spot their words
• What does it mean showing up in an open way when you’re meeting somebody new
• To be comfortable in one-on-one situations, you should mirror your voice expression, your body language, and energy to match the other person more closely
• The most important thing for a presenter is to shift his dynamic expressions in a way that is congruent with what he’s saying
• There are 4 states in dynamic expression: FLOW, TIME, WEIGHT, DIRECTION (SPACE)
• How 4 states in dynamic expression work
• The difference between FREE and BOUND flows and how to use them
• Depending on how we approach time 2 minutes can be very long or very short
• The difference between strength and lightness and their importance in communication
• What is the difference between direct and indirect approach in communication
• Her Life Changing Question is: ‘How do I impact myself and others by the way that I show up?’
• How movement and postures impact our brain chemistry
• We can impact ourselves from the outside in and not just from the inside out
• Her habit is to check in with herself every day and seeing where she is right now and who’s showing up for her
• Why you should always honor yourself
• The thing on her bucket list is to bring her work in body communication and expression to Australia
• Everyone who has listened to this episode can email her with code name, ‘kevinbeeshow’ and you will get a one-hour coaching session with her for $67 instead of $300

Tweets

Gitta Sivander is sharing her Life Changing Question. You can listen here Click To Tweet Wandering how other people spot your words? Gitta Sivander shares how to find that out Click To Tweet How to improve confidence by using non-verbal communication? Listen to Gitta Sivander advice Click To Tweet

Resources Mentioned in this show:

TED Talk Amy Cuddy

gittasivander.com

gitta@gittasivander.com – Gitta’s personal email address

Recommended Reading:

Transcription
If just one question could immediately transform the quality of your life or the results of your business, would you want to know what that question was? Life and business strategist, Kevin Bees, interviews success masters to discover their life-changing questions. Welcome to the Life-Changing Questions podcast.

KEVIN:
Welcome to Episode No. 64 of the Life-Changing Questions podcast. On today’s show we have someone who is highly trained and experienced in nonverbal communications for presentations and leadership having taught dynamic expression techniques in 7 different countries to hundreds of top professionals and global speakers and executive leaders, Gitta Islander is often regarded as a secret weapon to helping people improve their confidence and delivery. We are so excited to welcome to the show today, Gitta. Gitta, welcome to the show.

GITTA:
Thank you, Kevin. I am so glad that you are inviting me to be here with you today.

KEVIN:
I have been very excited about this, Gitta, because I know from my own research and my own study that sometimes we are told that only 7% of our communication comes down to the words we use. I mean the other 93% can be down to nonverbals, maybe like the tone of our voice or maybe the way that we use our body language. So with you coming on the call today and talking about nonverbal communication, I mean that could be such a major part of how we interact with people from our leadership point of view, how we communicate onstage or even in our day-to-day life. So we are very excited to have you here and I wonder if you could tell us a little bit about your background. How did you come to this place where you are [0:01:32] where you are helping people improve their nonverbal communication in such a powerful way?

GITTA:
Oh, yes, that is a very exciting question actually. I could fill up like a whole day talking about that, so let’s not do that today. [Laughs] It’s been a life filled with excitement for movement. That’s my very personal journey of, like, already – actually already in my mum’s womb. She already complained that I never let her rest because I was always moving. I guess I already explored the time how my movement would impact her [laughs]. Then as I grew older, I realized that what I had experienced very young in my child, had a huge impact on me on how I would see people, how I would see their expressions, their movements, their body language and what happened was that I was born with a hearing issue. I had lost my hearing already before birth, 50% of that on my left ear and I also only hear about 70% to 80% on my right ear, so I actually wear a hearing aid right now and because I didn’t hear very well – I wasn’t having hearing aid for the first 6 years of my life – I was really relying on understanding people and what they were sharing with me and what was important, what would happen next [0:02:43] I was able to actually understand what it was about without being able to hear all the words. I could hear some, but I always missed some words and so for me, the words were always a big question like and I unconsciously learned to start reading body communication without really knowing what that was at the time, but later on in my teenage years, I started to realize that I had a gift in really seeing how other people would express themselves and I would share some stories with my friends what I saw and other friends and even the pop stars, they would go like ‘Wow, well, you really have an eye for something that we haven’t really discovered yet.’ And that journey just continued on and took me to circus school in Paris, where I fully explored stage presence and the impact that we have from being in front of a show. I became a dancer. I was acting for some years and was very passionate about the whole show world and all that has become a foundation to actually sharing body communication with people and then I had ___ some formal trainings also. I became a Laban Movement analyst, CLMA and that was a two-year training and really studying movement from a very broad-sided perspective. So not just seeing movement from one side, but we saw movement, how it is showing in the room, how does movement come in connection to how we relate to ours, to our environment, what is our shape, how do we shape our body, our connection to space and our expressivity, our effort quality, how do we express what we say, how do we express what we do with our body. And that was such an entreating part of my life and at some point I was like, okay, now I am ready, after having studied and experienced movement, language, nonverbal communication, body communication, I was just ready to bring it to my clients into a more formal way, so that’s the short story.

KEVIN:
And of course through that journey we heard now a circus school and being a movement analyst and really understanding the nonverbals of people, which you wanted to bring that to your client. So just how do you use this knowledge and skill that you have to help empower [0:04:56] the leaders and the presenters in a way that you do?

GITTA:
Yeah, that’s a good question, right? I both work with groups; I bring my work in forms of seminars and workshops, now to the corporate world, but also to small businesses since a long time. I help people to understand how they communicate with each other, but also how they are being seen by others as they are standing up as a leader or in a presentation world. I work with presenters one-on-one and sessions to help them to really craft their next skill level to move up and bump it up if they are already speakers or help them to be comfortable on stage if they are new to speaking, maybe they are preparing for very important talks such a TED Talk or a TEDx Talk or just an important talk within their business and I help them to actually really see how they are having an impact, how they are influencing and inspiring the audience through the way that they are showing up on stage. So the emphasis in my work is not finding the right words, it is finding how we spot those words so that they can actually really come across to the audience in a more impactful mesmerising way.

KEVIN:
Hmm.. to be impactful and mesmerizing. Very important. And not just for people who are professional speakers, but of course even in our day-to-day lives, I am sure that the way that we use our body in a nonverbal communication, people really pick up on that, I feel that. So have you some tips or some advice you could give us to make sure that we are utilizing this vehicle of our body to really accentuate our message in the best way?

GITTA:
Okay, so a tip. I’d like to understand a little bit more of the situation. Are we talking about, like, in front of a group meeting, like a work meeting or in day-to-day life like on one-on-one, maybe when you are with just one person and you’re getting to know that person newly – shall we take that situation?

KEVIN:
Yeah, cool, if you could cover both that would be great or whichever one you can give us a good answer and so we can go and apply today that will be awesome.

GITTA:
Yeah, okay, great. So let’s look at a one-on-one situation when you are meeting somebody new that you don’t know yet. So [0:07:01] in terms of body language, first of all you wanna show up in an open way. How do you do that? How do you show up that you are open and receptive to this new person? Some of this may already feel like, oh, I have heard this before, but little new answers may still come in here that you experience that there is some ‘aha’ moments for you. So not only is your posture important, like being in a more upright way, your shoulders wide and you are facing that person face to face, you are not twisting your body away from that person, you are not looking to the side, you are keeping a steady eye contact without actually holding it, like, too firm, you can also look away sometimes, but when you are looking back at the person, you wanna really be pregnant with yourselves so that you can be present with them and then from where like that you are sitting down and you are sitting across from that person. In order to really be comfortable on a one-on-one situations, for you it’s good to step into a moment of mirroring where you are in a similar position, so you may think that when you cross your legs and close your legs, it means that you are closed and that’s not always that, especially if you are slitting across a woman, closing the legs is a very comfortable position for women to be in, when you meet somebody new. Now if you are a man sitting across the woman, you don’t need to actually cross your legs [laughs] it’s not necessary. But you could do it in your more male version which means like you bring your ankle over your knee and your knee out of the sides, you are actually coming close to that same place. It will be very different if you, as a man, if you are meeting a woman, have your knees wide apart, you know, like this, leg open position, and we see that quite often especially in the relationship situations or like in dating and the woman is sitting on her chair with her legs closed and the man sitting across her has knees wide open and that can be very awkward because it’s like two very opposing body language confrontations going on by there, so a much [0:08:57] to approach it will be to see, like, as a man you can check and negotiate and then he could bring his knees more together in a way that still feels masculine and true for him. In terms of the other part of really getting into the communication of verbal expression, it has to match with your partner, [0:09:19] let’s say they come in and they are being really rushed and they are, like, up on fire and they are speaking very fast and they have, like, some strength and some directness in their voice and they are just rushed in their approach to time and you can catch them there and also speed up your own voice a little bit versus going, like, completely calm, ‘Ohhh, I hear that you are really rushed’ and you are completely opposite in that moment. So use your voice, your voice expression to match that person more closely, not completely at the same place. You don’t have to be hectic. If they are hectic, you can just speak up a little faster and a little louder and a little bit more direct and then from that place they feel matched, they feel like, ‘Oh, wow, it feels really comfortable’, and then you can start shifting that expression back to place that feels more like it is you, like more [0:10:07] maybe. It’s very powerful, this mirroring of the voice expression, takes a little bit of skills to kind of look at what is it that my opponent is doing and what is it that I am doing. This is true for almost all of body communication, body language, which is to look at what am I doing actually. Before we look at others, what they are doing, where am I right now? What am I expressing? What is my posture like and I am feeling shy? Am I [0:10:40] my upper chest? Am I looking away with my eyes? Or am I feeling like really posh and big and strong and am like almost showing up over the top? Just really look at what are you doing with your shoulders, your arms? What are you doing with your head? Is your head tilting? Is it in the middle or coming down or up? Is it in alignment with your body? And then look at your opponent. Opponent is not the right word. Sorry. English is actually my third language, so I happen to sometimes use some words that not always fit in. So your partner that you are meeting or your guest, I mean, seeing what is their eye connection, how are they looking at you, are they being more shy and then stepping into being a lot [0:11:25] in a match, both in the dynamic expression of the moment as well as the posture itself. And that is also true for corporate leadership walls or leadership walls within any business. It is true that you want to step up in front of your group, but you also wanna check in where is your group at? Where the people are at that are in the room with you? What’s going on? What do you see in their postures? Are they all really tired and leaning back? Are they all like alert, sitting up, on their chair, ready to take in some information and then you take that energy and use it yourself like, you are like, oh, they are ready to listen, they are ready to go, I am [0:12:05], but I can be a little stronger, a little bit more expressed from the way that you use your gestures, the way that you move through the presentation and your speed. While when you see everybody being really tired and leaving back and not listening, you gotta awake them up first thing, get them interested and if you’re sitting [0:12:22] let’s say you are sitting around a meeting table and people are leaning back and being tired and you are also sitting on your chair and you are matching that energy, that’s not really gonna get you in a very good leadership roles. It’s gonna help a lot more if you step up 1,2,3 degrees and you are coming forward in your chair, you are leaning back, but you are sitting upright and then you are bringing in more of an firm, direct, little faster pace in your speaking. Does that make sense?

KEVIN:
Makes a lot of sense for me. [0:12:53] key things we can take out from this and really whether we’re one-on-one or whether we are with a group, we should calibrate not only while there [0:13:02] but also what energy ____ how we are using our body right now and I think the example you used really stands out for me. I know I have certainly been in a position maybe [0:13:12] quite cheered and quite really scared and then maybe with someone who’s coming to say something very quickly, very fast in the room and you just feel the immediate [0:13:18] in energy. There’s a very big difference. And then vice versa, I probably experienced it the other way round. I am in a hurry because I gotta get something done and maybe the person serving me is just a little bit more chilled. And as we go, they can feel the disconnect. Of course if you wanna have a great communication, verbally and nonverbally, we can match [0:13:37] person, who’s in front of us, we are gonna feel more connected, have more ability to move the conversation on in a way that we would like it to move on.

GITTA:
Yes, really good. That’s exactly what I meant to express and you grabbed the moment. Thank you so much, Kevin, for summarizing that and I also was thinking, I didn’t really share much about what this looks like when you are giving a presentation in front of an audience. And in presentation situation, what is very important for you as a presenter is to be dynamic in a way that it is congruent with what you are saying. So dynamic means that you have a range of expressivity. No matter where you start. And you could start off being like in a very exciting and dynamic place where everybody is greeting you and clapping and then you may go into a meditative state where you are more like hypnotic language wise, bringing people to a new place of your sharing or the work what you are doing and then you may get a backup and maybe you have more of a sales energy that comes up as you are sharing with them how they could purchase your product and this is an example that as you are moving through your presentation, you always wanna be aware of that there being many different states and that those states of how you show up, is what is going to allow for your audience to be able to follow you because if you are, like, excited and [0:14:58] the whole time, guess what, they are gonna listen to you for maybe 5 to 10 minutes and at some point, it’s like, ‘Oh, why she’s got so much energy and there’s, like, never a pause. I never get to really breathe or digest what she just shared with me’ and then it becomes monotone and repetitive, no matter how dynamic it is, that moment, so it’s the shift of dynamic expressions and we actually have the true Laban Movement analysis that he came up with 4 different states in dynamic expression; there is flow, there is time, there is weight – weight meaning light or strong – and there is also direction, space. Space meaning being direct or indirect. Flow meaning being free flow or bound flow, like, more bound up. And time meaning being sustained, slowing down or accelerating and going really fast. Light is more of a lighter voice as I am applying it right now and strong, it’s when I really wanna make a point, you really hear what I’m saying? Yes, exactly and in that strength that I just used, there’s a lot of directness as well, but I could be more indirect, like right now I am like, well, maybe we could feel out what’s most important to ask in our next step here and our conversation. That’s a lot more indirectness in my approach. Do you hear that, Kevin?

KEVIN:
I hear that loud and clear, Gitta. [Laughs] and just [0:16:25] as a recap to make sure we capture it, so in this ability to express yourself dynamically, there’s flow, time, weight, and direction. Now flow, you said it is free or bound. What does that mean, to be free or bound?

GITTA:
Free flow means that you are allowing for the information that you are sharing to come out of you, like, in an easy, free form. It’s really like flowing; there’s no restriction and you can feel how the person that shares the information with you is just abandonly letting it flow. Versus if it would be a more bound flow of expressing, you also see it in the body and a more boundful a body is, a little bit more rigid, like the German culture is very bound flow. We have cultural differences in terms of how we express ourselves. Look at South American culture, Brazil. It’s very free flow in many ways versus the German or northern European cultures are a lot more bound flow. Can you see that also in the culture?

KEVIN:
I can.

GITTA:
Yeah. So these expressions also show up in our day-to-day life and maybe we are, as a person we are more bound flow. And bound flow means that there is a little bit more rigidity, there’s more containment. So it’s also good to be contained, but if you are always contained, that is you won’t get your audience moving, you wanna get them to go up or you wanna get them to move and be excited about the moment that you are sharing. That’s when you are being more free flow. If you want them to be very precise and decisive about a moment then you bring in more of this contained, ha, bound flow. Or if I just want you to spark, spark the energy, you are sparking idea, I bring in more free flow.

KEVIN:
Huh! Very interesting. So there’s free flow or bound flow and you said about time. You said it was sustained or __.

GITTA:
Acceleration? Like speeding up.

KEVIN:
Yeah?

GITTA:
Sustainment or sudden is also acceleration. So time is not about if somebody is really slow the whole time or somebody is moving or speaking really fast the whole time because there is no change in time. Time in expression has to do with how we approach our time and that might be including a slowing down, de-acceleration, or this feeling of hurry – quick, quick, let’s go, let’s go, let’s do right out. So it’s really about how do we see time. We may have 2 minutes left to do an exercise and you may feel like, ‘Oh, my god, only 2 minutes left. Let’s hurry up. We’re gonna get up, We’re gonna move, we’re gonna see all that has to happen in 2 minutes, so we gotta do this quick, quick, quick.’ Now that’s an acceleration moment. Or we could go, ‘Two minutes! Oh, my god, I have 2 minutes left. I have to be sitting here for 2 more minutes and meditating and it’s already been so long. How am I gonna get through these 2 minutes of really staying with it.’ So 2 minutes can be very long or they can be very short. And what I am trying to convey here is the message that time is about how we approach it. I mean, you shift the approach of your time, you merely shift the state that you bring your room, your audience into. It’s a journey.

KEVIN:
That makes a lot of sense. And particularly as a leader or a presenter then you have the ability to help the audience feel whether they are gonna go on aslow or steady base or you’re gonna accelerate them to get in there quickly. You mentioned also the weight, whether something is light or strong. What does that mean?

GITTA:
Strong is when you really use your weight, you use your muscles, but you also use, like, a sense of gravity or groundedness that comes in. There is often a push, let’s say somebody is doing a sales push. A push has a lot of weight to it. Does somebody wants to sell you through a push, through a punch, there is heaviness, there is like active strength involved, but also directness that comes into that push while lightness would be more of a feeling, it’s an uplifting there. It’s about going down to its gravity; it’s like this lifting up towards upwards, like you know when you say, my heart feels really light today. There’s feeling of ‘Ah, I could dance. I have so much freedom in my body.’ That’s more the lightness and lightness is particularly important when you wanna extend an invitation, when you wanna extend a question that has an invitation or an invitation to come and join you in your work or your workshop. Lightness is a place where you are joining people in, to the offer that you are making. While using strength [0:20:50] may give very important emphasis on why they should be joining you, but if you do the strength movement from beginning to end, it gets very pushy. More people do not enjoy being pushed. Have you been in a sales meeting, Kevin, where somebody would use this very strong approach and speak from a place of, like, ‘you gotta join, you have to change your life, if you don’t come to this event, you will not make a shift in your life, you will not make your millions’ and it’s not just for a minute or two, but it’s actually from beginning until the end of that sales meeting?

KEVIN:
I have been to [0:21:21].

GITTA:
Ha,ha,ha, good. So you know exactly what I am talking about! And isn’t that really nice. Sometimes when you then have a moment of like, ‘Wow, there is some lightness. I’m being invited, I’m being asked some questions.’ There is some curiosity here, that push lightens up and why this may seem very, very obvious and it’s obvious in the observation, it’s not always obvious in bringing it through. If we are used to speaking in a strong and direct way all the time then that is our pattern. We are patterned. We are patterned in our life to do things in a certain way and so we have patterned the way that we move and express ourselves. So learning to see what we do and what is available to us. It’s like opening a whole new world. We had no idea as, let’s say, a light person who is like more like a really light dancer kind of ariel person that they are able to also access their strength and sometimes that takes some practice and once they get to that place, they have a whole new way of expressing themselves in the world and a whole new way of being themselves around different situations of work, personal life, relationships exactly.

KEVIN:
I think that’s a really great example and I guess I like to see [0:22:39] some people who can overuse the strong and there are some people who may be even overusing the light. And maybe a combination of both is sometimes required and hence this is what is called dynamic. We need to be doing the whole range of those expressions.

GITTA:
Exactly. It’s so true that it is all about the range, this is what it lies on the extremes and what lies in between those extremes and the range is, it’s really a discovery, a finding out, who am I in my dynamic range and when do I feel comfortable and using what. And maybe I can start using what I do already when I go out and dance, maybe I can bring this back into my work and activate my audience that way.
KEVIN:
I love it. And it was wonderful [0:23:19]. We already discussed flow, time, weight and the final one was direction. And you said that it could either be direct or indirect. I wonder if you could tell us more about that please, Gitta?

GITTA:
Yes, so it’s also called space and the way that we approach space can be a direct approach or an indirect approach. We all know that from the way we use our eye focus, so let’s say you are looking ahead and you see something on the horizon that is moving, maybe you are by the beach and looking out over the ocean and you see something [0:23:48] maybe that’s a whale and you are looking at that one spot that’s moving and you are not quite sure and you are pinpointing that with your eyes and maybe as a child or even as an adult, you go like, look, there look and your fingers pointing the direction. That is a very direct. That is a direct approach to how we channel our body towards that moment in space. The whole body is focused. It’s also called focus, like, direct focus. The whole body focus is on that one thing and that is a very different physical experience than when you have an indirect approach. Or an indirect approach is, use this nature example again, where you are out on a hike and you are hiking up the mountain, you are getting higher and higher and you are looking down into the valley and you go, ‘Oh my god, this is beautiful!’ This wide open valley, all the green, the trees and you are seeing on one side, there are some deer grazing and on the other side, you see waterfall and you see that the same time you are just taking it all in. Put yourself into that moment, into that place where you are taking it all in. You are not just seeing the waterfall or just the deer or just another person walking through the valley. You are seeing it all together and it forms more of a whole hearted, whole body approach and your body is more open. There’s more of an open feel, ‘Oh, I am taking it all in. I am holding.’ Holding space for all of it and I’ll take that from nature and put it back into your work place and let’s say you are in a meeting room of 20 people. That’s a big meeting and you are looking at one person and then you look at the other person and there’s nothing wrong with that and you do that the whole time, you are always only seeing one person then you are single focused. Just look at one thing at a time, you are missing the whole picture. So once in a while you wanna get everybody back in and then you wanna open up your eyes in the more peripheral vision and maybe your eyelids come down a bit more so you can look out at the periphery of your eyes and you are seeing [0:25:45] and you are taking in and taking in the feeling of the room and where it’s going and then you can come back to looking at individual people again, but doing that change, having both of them, will allow for your group that you are speaking, to feel more incorporate and included than if you only were to always look at one person.

KEVIN:
Perfect, actually great, so much so, the key message that I take from this, of course, is as a leader presenting to a team or even to one-on-one or even to a group of people, the more we can use the dynamic range of our expression, not get stuck in the same patterns all the time, if we can open up the patterns and have some more flow, you know, do not be too bound, having more freedom or use that time so you can either accelerate or you can make it sustained or use the weight, the light and the strong or even with the space and you get to choose to be, you know, direct and single focused or interacting and take it all and using that combination with dynamic range will actually improve the ability to communicate as opposed to staying, you know, in the same patterns that you use all the time.

GITTA:
That’s right, Kevin. Exactly. That’s exactly right and it sounds pretty direct and simple, right, doesn’t it, but maybe for some part of the discovery of these aspects and on the other hand, it can be a bit challenging to actually find out where are we. What is it that I am doing? And a good way is to start observing yourself. Start looking at what you do look at one direction or do you take in more the whole scenery of things and do you feel like you are more aggressively approaching conversations with a lot of strength and push behind it, can you feel that push or are you more of coming from a place of sitting back, internally in your body and curiously engaging in the conversation? Who are you? And once you know who you are, then you can open up to the next part, what’s there and sometimes that needs a little bit more guidance so we use coaches, we use teachers to learn and grow and that’s the same for dynamic range of expression.

KEVIN:
Absolutely love that! I think you have explained it in such a great way that it is something that I can certainly apply and I hope for the rest of the listeners listening [0:27:48] you apply even if you are not a presenter or you don’t get [0:27:52] you present to groups of people, use this [0:27:55], use this with your family, more of these different [0:27:57] shades and all of these different ranges of expressions you use, ___communication you can do. Now, Gitta, the key reason we have the show of course is to understand about the quality of the questions that people ask of themselves because we understand that the better the quality of the question we ask of ourselves, the better the quality of the answer and of course, [0:28:15] better results in their life. So what we would love to hear from you is, what’s one question that you have asked that’s had the biggest positive impact on your life or the life of the people that you serve?

GITTA:
I know, I love that question. That is a really good question. So what are the questions that I really hold and I have been holding this question for about 15 years – now I think it’s about 15 years, yeah. ‘How do I impact myself by the way that I show up and how do I impact others by the way that I show up?’ Well, that maybe two questions in one, but really it is one question. If I only think about how I impact others by the way I show up, I feel like I am disconnecting from really looking at my own heart, of how I feel in the way that I show up. So my question that I am holding is, ‘How do I impact myself and then through that, how do I show up for others in the way that I am being with myself?’ So that means maybe I am waking up in the morning and I am not feeling the part and I am feeling tired and exhausted than I had ___ the day before and I am noticing that I am more hunching over and my energy is downward and I am more passive in my way, I am not active and I am realizing well, I am going to this meeting. Is this the energy that I am gonna bring, whether a new meeting that I have, the company that I wanna work for and I look at myself and go like, ‘No, this is not really the way I wanna show up.’ So first I honour where am at and then I do some movement exercises that help me to break that state that I am in and it actually starts changing the way I am feeling. And then the only thing that the way that I am changing my state already impacts me and I am getting more excited about my day and about the vision that I am creating and through that, of course, I will have a very different impact on the meeting that I am going to and through that a different impact on the world and keep sprinkling out. When you meet some people and has an impact and they meet others and she has had an impact and yeah, regularly asking myself that question, ‘How do I impact myself by the way I show up and through that, how do I impact others by the way I show up?’ is my life mantra.

KEVIN:
Love that. That’s a great question because it really ties the two together because if you don’t take care of yourself in the way that you show up then you never gonna have the impact on other people that you will wish to have. So you kind of have to take care of the way that you show up first in order to have that impact on others. Now the key example you poured out of there was that if you are not maybe feeling the way you wanna feel in advance this meeting then you can go and do something about it. Now you use the example that you have used your body. Now given that you are an expert in this, in movement, what is the link between us moving our body that would really help us shift the way that we feel and the way that we show up?

GITTA:
What is the link, ha, ha, ha! It is a very profound link between our mind, body and spirit. It’s all deeply connected, as we know and we know that we can have an impact on the way that we are being seen, by the way that we are feeling internally, so we can start by making an internal shift. That’s why you have psychotherapy and you have, like, deep conversation with your friend and that starts changing the way you feel about yourself or you can find that impact from the outside first. So rather than talking about it, you can start moving it and you can use the different kinds of movement. Movement of exploration, but also doing exercises that then fire back from the body that come back into your nervous system into your brain and its starts changing the availability of your neuroscience there, the availability of your brain chemicals, so the dopamine and serotonin and certain movements combined with breathing actually really get your serotonin levels up, which for especially as women it’s so important to feel the part and to feel engaged and happy. So movement has a profound impact. Movement and postures. It’s not just movement, its posture also. And has a profound impact on our brain chemistry and the way that that is being produced and its being received and being able to actually make use of the brain chemistry.

KEVIN:
I really love that as an example and you have reminded me of an awesome TED Talk that I watched by a lady called Amy Cuddy.

GITTA:
Yes!

KEVIN:
So if you haven’t happened to see that video, yeah, listeners just check out the page notes at kevinbees.com/gitta and we will put the link of that there and you’ll get to see the view and in there the lady explains how even for a period of as little as two minutes, you stand in, I think she calls them power postures or power poses [0:32:39] you stand in certain power posture or power pose and that in turn impacts the body chemistry and of course how it shifts your energy and how you show up. I think I have also read around that ___ some studies that said they had heap of people who were depressed and then they split them into two groups. A group of people who [0:32:58] and a group of people who were encouraged to smile and you know, keep a smile on their face for 2 minutes and what they found is that, those people who were depressed, who were encouraged to just put a smile on their face even if they didn’t feel like smiling at all actually had increasing levels of happiness and reduction in the amount of depression. So I think there’s a real solid connection between what we physically do with our bodies and our mood and how we feel, so I know it’s so important pieces, so coming back to your questions, ‘How do I impact myself by the way I show up and I think you are an example of making sure you physically take care of yourself and yet [0:33:33] powerful way to impact how you show up yourself and others.

GITTA:
Exactly. Guessing I am so glad that you named Amy Cuddy. She really speaks a lot, the language that I have learned and was very surprised when I met her the first time and I saw her TED Talk, like, that’s exactly what I studied all these years and I am absolutely on the same page with her. Very impactful how we can impact ourselves from the outside in and not just from the inside out.

KEVIN:
Love it. I think that’s such a powerful message for all of us to take away and you may recognize this innately anyway on the days you don’t go and do your exercise, you can maybe feel a bit down [0:34:08] do get up and move your bodies even for 10 or 15 minutes, it can make such a difference to the rest of your day because you have different energy and different chemistry flowing around your body, so I really love that example and the next question which we’d love to ask on the show is around the habits and rituals you have. The habits and rituals that you have had up until now have led you to where you are with your level of success and the habits and rituals that you create today are going to be the things that take into your future. So now Gitta, [0:34:32] that movement is a very key habit for you, particularly to get yourself in a place where you want to impact people. Have you any other habits or rituals that you have that have allowed you to achieve the level of success that you have in your field?

GITTA:
Yeah. I think one of the habits that I have is to check in with myself and everyday I check in with myself and see where am I at right now and who’s showing up for me because we have like different [0:34:55] that are playing the roles of who we are in the world and may be one day, the person showing up is more, a little bit more timid Gitta, who’s not so sure about herself or maybe another day, a very powerful Gitta, who is very driven shows up, so I check in with myself everyday and see where am I at, who’s showing up today and I have a little bit of a moment of connecting with that and honouring that part of who I am and really living authentically from that moment. So even, let’s say, if I am waken up and not feeling that powerful that day and I have a ___ that I am going to and I really need to show up in front of 200 people, I take some time to connect with that part in me that is not feeling the part today so that I honour that part ___ I can then step out and shift the energy. That has really helped me to always find some joy in what I do and to see the future in being joyful and there is always more growing, more deepening happening, more learning, never stops. And honouring myself is the place from where I feel that I can actually give more and wanting to dive deeper and that is my past and it will create my future.

KEVIN:
I love that and I love the fact that you use the word honouring yourself. This is a great technique to honour yourself and learn and grow. So you are not always going to feel a 100% every single day, so if you take that time to honour yourself and learn and grow, then that’s gonna help keep you on the journey to where you want to be. Really great example. Now Gitta, I know that you have achieved so many great things in your life, but what I would love to ask you is around the idea of a bucket list. If there is one thing you have accomplished that you have been really proud to have accomplished or something on the list that you still so wanting to achieve or go forwards and make happen, what would that be?

GITTA:
Huh!! Choosy question, Kevin, you really know how to ask the really right question, don’t you?

KEVIN:
I like to think so.

GITTA:
Well, they are definitely landing with me. One thing I am proud of is that I am working for clients worldwide across many continents and countries in Europe, different countries in North America, in Asia and I feel really good about that global connection and most of it is happening through the internet connection that we have like Skype or zoom meetings, what I really like to accomplish is, l like to go back to Australia, where I lived for some years and really learned how to love Australia and the beaches and the people and my dream, one of my big accomplishments that I would love to achieve is to go to Australia, not as a tourist or a guest, but as a contributor with my work. To bring my work in body communication and expression to Australia and support people in Australia in feeling good about themselves and feeling like the open range they have for their lives and for their work. That is one of my dreams.

KEVIN:
I love that dream and if there’s anyone listening on the call today, he would love to see Gitta come to the country and [0:38:07] make sure you reach out to Gitta ___ I would certainly love to have you in the country, if there’s something we can do to help ___ that would be actually amazing. And Gitta, I have one final question for you. And that’s around books. If there is one book you would recommend for our listeners to read, what would that book be?.

GITTA:
There’s three books that I was going to tap into and you may be choosed as one, so I am gonna choose the book that is gonna be very interesting for you to read. It’s an easy book. It’s not too heavy and it gives you a lot of really impactful plans on how to use your body language in your communication, to also feel confident in what you do and this book is called ‘The Credibility Code’ by Cara Hale Alter. She’s a presentation coach here in California and I really love the work that she does and has some great aspects to it. So when you are going out and speaking or becoming a speaker or you already are one and just like to get more tips, ‘The Credibility Code’ is a fantastic book to give you really solid foundations on speaking and leadership.

KEVIN:
Wonderful. So ‘Credibility Code’. Check out the full details on that on kevinbees.com/detail. Now if someone is listening and they did want to contact you, what would be the best way for them to do that?

GITTA:
Yeah, just hop on my website which is my name.com and my name is gittasivander.com. You can probably see that also maybe Kevin, can you add that on your page somewhere?

KEVIN:
Definitely. Check out the page notes, kevinbees.com/gitta.

GITTA:
So gittasivander.com is my site and you can also get directly in touch with me, my personal email is gitta@gittasivander.com and that’s the best way to reach me right away specially if you have something urgent going on, right? So those are the two options.

KEVIN:
Gitta, that’s great. Our listeners can go ahead and contact you. You also mentioned that there may be an opportunity for people to have an offer to work with you.

GITTA:
That’s right, yes. I have a very special offer, only for the guests on this call, and the offer is that I’d like to give you a one-hour coaching session with me, which is worth $300, and for you guests on this call, it will be $67 only and there will a first one-hour intake session that will really help you to understand who you are as a speaker or presenter or in your work leadership role. You know me, the [0:40:43] which is actually kevinbeesnow. Email me that code name, kevinbeesnow. I know that you have listened to this podcast and you get the $67 deal instead of $300. That’s my offer for you.

KEVIN:
That’s a really good opportunity. If you want to work with world class speaker/trainer and someone who can explain very well, you have heard her just like a snippet of today’s call inorder to have that dynamic range of expression, you have a big presentation coming up [0:41:12] to your board, to your colleagues, to your team then it will be highly valuable. Make sure you jump on it quickly [0:41:21] so if you are interested, jump on that. Gitta you have been absolutely fantastic on the show with us, such wonderful wisdom and insight and by the way of quick recap, if you are presenting or speaking, make sure you use those __ elements of flow, time, weight, and direction. And in terms of life-changing question, make sure you ask yourself “How do I impact myself by the way that I show up” as well as it allows you to answer the question “How do I impact others by the way that I show up”. If you haven’t watched the Amy Cuddy video, then you should click the link and watch that one as well. And in terms of habits, definitely have that movement and that motion in your life. You can make a big difference to how you feel and how you show up and the impact __ you make so. Gitta, you have been absolutely fantastic. We really enjoyed you having on the show today so thank you so much for being here.

GITTA:
Thank you so much, Kevin. This was really exciting and I can’t wait to be in touch with you soon again.
Thanks so much for listening to the life-changing questions podcast with your host, Kevin Bees. We’ll catch you next time.

Hey, you are on bonus time right now on the life-changing questions podcast and I’ve got three bonuses that I would like to share with you and I call them the three S’s. The first ‘S’ is for Show Notes; don’t forget you can get all of the details of the show including the names of the books that were mentioned, the key people that were mentioned on kevinbees.com. The second ‘S’ is Subscribe. Make sure you subscribe to the show. We’re going to be releasing a new episode every single week and our guests are just getting better and better. And I’ve got the third ‘S’, Share it; your friends, family, colleagues, loved ones are really gonna appreciate it when you share such great content with them. That’s it from me and make sure you are asking life-changing questions this week.

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