Amanda Gore

Episode (45) –Amanda Gore: CEO of The Joy Project and one of Australia’s and America’s most popular ‘experience creating’ speakers

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Amanda Gore is called a ‘people whisperer’. She is the CEO of The Joy Project and one of Australia’s and America’s most popular ‘experience creating’ speakers.

On todays show,

Amanda Gore shares her secret on how to find the joy in yourself and have a happier life.

 

 

 

 

Amanda also covers

  • How her meditation helped her realize that the joy is an inside job
  • The difference between happiness and joy is that the happiness depends on others and joy comes from inside
  • Three fears that prevent people of finding the joy: the fear of not being good enough or not worth loving, feeling unsafe and the fear of death, separation and abandonment
  • The secreat of being a great speaker is to connect energetically with the audience
Amanda Gore shares her Life Changing Question. You can listen here Click To Tweet Want to have a happier life? Amanda Gore has the recipe Click To Tweet Ever wandered how to find the purpose of your life? Amanda Gore can show you Click To Tweet
  • Why does she prefer connecting with like-hearted instead with like-minded people
  • What does having the higher purpose really mean and how to find your own
  • How to rewire your brain to think differently in 9 weeks
  • The core question to ask yourself is ”What is it in me that is causing me to feel this way?”
  • Two components of changing our mindset are our fear and the agenda we have
  • When you go inside youself you get to some core realizations, that is when things just change without you having to do too much
  • Her FARC – ER analogy: focus, awareness, repeat, celebrate; experience and remember
  • The main thing on her bucket list is to go on the place where she will have inner peace all the time

Recources Mentioned in this show:

Joy-ercise – Amanda’s online program

Recommended Reading:

Transcription:

Today we have on the show, Amanda Gore.  Amanda is a communications and performance expert who for 25 years has been helping people to achieve results by re-connecting to what really drives that perception, attitudes, behaviour, engagement, joy, and the positive outcomes in business and life.  As one of America’s and Australia’s most admired speakers, we are very privileged to have some time today with Amanda Gore.  Amanda, welcome to the show.

 

If just one question could immediately transform the quality of your life or the results of your business, would you want to know what that question was?  Life and business strategist, Kevin Bees, interviews success masters to discover their life-changing questions.  Welcome to the Life-Changing Questions podcast

 

KEVIN:

So Amanda, welcome to the show today!

 

AMANDA:

Thank you, Kevin.  Thanks for having me on the show.

 

KEVIN:

Amanda, I have been very excited to speak with you, I mean, after seeing you presenting very recently I know you have a heap of value to add to the callers today and the people listening today.  I want to start off by asking you a little bit about the topic of ‘joy’.  I recently read your book “Joy Is An Inside Job”.  I wonder if you could tell us a little bit about, what is joy for you and how can we experience that more in our life?

 

AMANDA:

This is a really great question, Kevin.  For me, it took me a long time to work out what joy is because [0:01:20] miserable and I knew I had to write a book on joy, but it was just ridiculous.  I couldn’t and I was so unhappy anyway, but eventually it did happen.  I woke up one morning and I had this vision of my mother telling me that I was to sit and meditate every day and I would get information downloaded and for those of you who think I’m a [0:01:43] feel free, but nothing else had worked, so I thought, oh, well, I’ll try it.  And lo and behold, I sat down, I meditated for 20 minutes and then I wrote 30 pages on something I done no preparation on.  And the reason I share that story is because from that kind of downloading came the content and I realized that joy is an inside job.  We are all born with joy and our lives are in many ways a creative pathway to rediscover that joy.  And there is a big difference in joy and happiness.  Happiness is something that people relate to externally.  I will be happy when, you know, I’m married.  I’ll be happy when I’m divorced.  I’ll be happy when the children [0:02:28].  I’ll be happy when I have children.  Its always I’ll be happy when whereas I’ll describe it as running down a really dark corridor, that’s pitch black, like you are underground in a coal mine and you can’t see anything and you’re desperate with fear and you’re desperate for happiness and trying to get some sort of light so that you are not so scared and finally you find the light switch and the light goes on and you think, ‘Oh, thank God, I’m happy’ and what you don’t know is that somebody is walking along behind you and they flick the light switch off and you plunge back into darkness.  But if you stand there in the darkness long enough, you will notice a faint glow and that light that you are looking around you, where is that light coming from, if you stand there in your calm and be free for long enough, you realize that light’s coming from inside you and that’s your joy and we all have that.  So that’s my philosophy of joy and that book in online program and what I speak on is about the stepping stones, if you like, with the secrets that build on each other to get you to the place of the final chapter of the book which is inner peace or equanimity because as I still grow and learn every day, I am coming to realize that true inner peace, that stillness that we can get inside us, is an amalgamation of all the others and that’s what real joy is.  And I wondered, when I read the book, why equanimity or inner peace was the last chapter and the longest.  And now, this I don’t know, may be 5 or 10 years later, I realize it’s because all the other elements are incorporated into it.  So that was a very lengthy answer to the question, Kevin.

 

KEVIN:

A great answer and some really great themes in it, I’d love to pull on a lot more.  So we were saying that we probably need to be cautious that if we are looking for happiness that’s something external to us then it can disappear at any point.  Someone can turn that light switch off, we can be plunged into the dark, but what you are suggesting is that first you really find joy instead, it comes from this inner peace and you said from standing in the dark and being with yourself and [0:04:29] darkness you probably describe like dealing with the fears that you have about being in the dark.  So I wonder if you could make that a little bit more concrete first, how if we are someone who potentially doesn’t experience that joy on a frequent basis, we are not potentially having that happiness, what can we do to stand in the dark and realize that joy?

 

AMANDA:

Well, that’s a great question again.  I don’t know that people have to stand in the dark.  That’s usually when you get down to the depths of despair, but on a day-to-day basis, it’s not [0:04:56] because what we tend to focus on, 9 out of 10 times, is all the problems we have in our lives.  We focus on things that are going wrong.  We focus on things we don’t have.  We look at someone else, we compare to them and then we focus on how we are different from then and we are not as good as them, blah, blah, blah.  And first of all, what we focus on, I think is a critical component and the second thing is to recognize the core fears that very, very, very, very, very often completely unconscious and once you start to identify those fears, then joy just seems to permeate more and more through your body, so the three core fears, the first one is, I am not worth loving or I’m not good enough.  And almost every person in western culture has one of those two.  Men often get, I’m not good enough and the women often get, I’m not worth loving.  And our parents all do the best they can, giving the skills they have and sometimes they are consciously not good parents, but really and so all of us have had some experience in our childhood where whether it was true or not, our perception was that we were not worth loving or we were not good enough and that between [00:06:12] gets embedded and, inherently or unconsciously, rules the rest of our lives.  It influences every interaction we have, every relationship we have.  So becoming conscious of the fear and really questioning it because everybody is worth loving and everybody is good enough.  It doesn’t mean that you can’t get better, if we say I’m not good enough.  Everybody can grow and develop in being more, but everybody is worth loving and then there are always behaviours that we can do to make ourselves more lovable or more loving and those things [0:06:46] the second core fear is that I am unsafe in some way.  And that’s pretty much of the cornerstone of every case of anxiety, depression, PTSD, or any kind of traumatic experience.  The brain has this fundamental belief lodged in there unconsciously that I’m unsafe.  So for example, my father was an alcoholic and it took me forever to realize it and I still at 62, deal with it at different times that I’m unsafe and because you have an alcoholic parent, you never know what sort of mood they are going to be in.  You become an expert [00:07:21] and it also puts your nervous system on to hyper vigilance.  So people can look back and see what happened to them in their childhood, if they can remember because I couldn’t remember.  I had to discover this along my own journey in my own ways and if you know that there is something that made you feel unsafe then question that now because you are probably in very different circumstances and that unconscious belief you are unsafe is controlling your current circumstances.  Then the third core fear is death, separation, or abandonment.  And separation is the core one.  Human beings are meant to be connected and in fact are connected, both physically, electronically, but we are energetically connected to everything and although that’s a vast concept and people are likely to say, go on, I didn’t realize she was such a [0:08:11] not that much.  The truth is we are all connected and everything we do affects everything around us.  And once you understand you’re never really separate, you’re never really isolated unless you choose to be and that you can always be connected to whatever is important to you then, I can’t remember how I started that one, it’s once you realize that you are never isolated, you’re never alone, you’re never separate, it makes a huge difference.  So sorry, Kevin, for confusing myself while I got talking.

 

KEVIN:

No, good.  No confusion there.  Actually it was very clear to me.  I mean, the answer to the question is, we have got to focus.  We can focus on what’s wrong in life, that’s always a possibility first.  But hey, there’s also a heap of good things happening as well.  You choose to focus on what’s good about what’s happening that can make us feel very differently and act very differently and Amanda, you said that there’s really 3 core fears and the one that we all have is, we’re either not good enough or we’re not worth loving; there’s the fear that we are unsafe or of course the fear of death, separation or abandonment.  You made a really interesting point there around the energy and how we are all energetically connected and I know for some people on the call they will be nodding with that and thinking yeah, that really makes sense. And others will be a little bit unsure about what that means.  And I think for me, Amanda, I really recognize that we are energetically connected.  An example would be like, sometimes have you ever walked into a room and you don’t know what’s going in that room, you have not spoken to anyone, but you can feel like somethings are not right, you can feel like the energy is off.  Have you ever had that experience because I know certainly for me I can certainly felt on occasions, you kind of get a feeling or sense what’s going on and Amanda, I know I guess also I think things like may be when you go to the cinema, the experience of a movie could become so much better because you are probably in the energy of everyone else there and how they are reacting to it and enjoying it versus if you sat there watching on your own.

 

AMANDA:

[0:10:00] Kevin, we’re moving.  It’s exactly the same.  And it’s also the same as someone who has feeling that their son, daughter, partner, friend, there’s something wrong about them, may pop into their mind and they think [0:10:15] I think I might call them today and see they’re alright and sure enough when you call, you find that there is some crisis happening or they need your help or its important that you call them.  It’s the same thing.  And there have been some studies done in quantum physics, for the life of me I can’t find it, but if anybody knows let me know.  It was done by the army, I think in the States and they took some saliva from a person and they took the saliva to another state in America right across the other side of the country and then they had the person watch a very violent Steven Seagal movie and at precisely the same time that he was watching the movie and getting agitated, the saliva cells on the other side of the country were also agitated.  So even though that’s a one human to the same human cells connection, it just shows you that its possible and its true we are all connected and that’s one of the key things about being a great speaker.  If you focus on yourself, on how good you look and how good you are and how well you are doing and whether it’s a crappy audience or not, you will never be a really good speaker.  Sorry, but you won’t.  Because great speakers connect energetically with the audience.  They create an environment within the room that allows the people to expand and blossom and look at things in a different way and change their emotional state and in the changing of that, in the creation of a safe environment to explore new ideas then they go very different people, but for a speaker to be able to do that they have to recognize that they are not Robinson Crusoe and it’s not just them doing it.  It’s a marriage between the two, but the speaker’s responsibility is to create that safe environment.

 

KEVIN:

Hmmm.. that’s really interesting.  So the energetic connection, the speaker’s responsibility is to do that and I guess it’s true in our relationships and also with everyone we connect with.  And Amanda, something hit me that you said in your book and it was around finding, I’m not gonna have [0:12:15] but it’s around finding your tribe.  You said you don’t want to be looking for like-minded people, you want to be looking for like-hearted people.  Can you explain that a little bit further to the people listening, please?

 

AMANDA:

Well, like-minded people.  You know, we are really caught up, Kevin, in a culture with people being smart and intelligent and clever and coming up with all sorts of intellectual ideas, but real joy comes from knowing your own heart and listening to your heart and using the wisdom of your heart to create the life that you really want to be living, but most people don’t get down to that till they are miserable or they have just divorced or they can’t find a relationship or they are unhappy with something in life, they hate their job and then they start to explore what’s going on and those fears, this is a bit simplistic, but it’s an interesting way to think about that. Those fears live in our heads.  They don’t live in our hearts.  Our hearts are the portal to the enormous higher self that everyone is and there is no fear in the heart. That’s where the light of joy emanates from.  Those fears that we go on and on and on [0:13:22] and we hold on to and they unconsciously control all our choices.  Our lives, it’s not true.  And when you connect to your heart’s wisdom and we stop valuing high IQ.  IQ is great.  It’s really good if you are smart, but it doesn’t make you happy necessarily.  And it doesn’t bring you great satisfaction in life.  It doesn’t give you a sense of purpose or meaning or fulfilment.  All the things that, I guess perhaps one realizes as one gets older with more wisdom, that really matter comes from the heart and I think that’s partly the reason I wrote the book.  So people who are younger can get there a little more quickly, but they still will have to be interested in reconnecting with their hearts because we all started off connected to our hearts pretty well, maybe not all of us, but most of us.

 

KEVIN:

Yeah, most of us for sure.  And I think that’s a really valid point when you say about IQ doesn’t necessarily make you happy.  Sometimes for me the most intelligent people, the most analytical people are the people who can get stuck in their intellect and beat themselves up and go over and over and over things, but I noticed that as soon as you can help someone connect to their heart, get a feeling for what they really want, then they can often find the answers that they want in life much more quickly.  One thing you just mentioned in the middle of that and I know this comes also from your definition of joy, you mentioned about a higher purpose and having that meaning and having something that you gonna do for a greater good, whether you call that god, whether you call that universe, whether you call that the source or whether you call that Buddha, but having the higher purpose and linking the higher purpose with a desire to serve people is part of the equation you believe for creating joy.

 

AMANDA:

It is.  When I was writing that book, I was told that the fast track to joy is one, now they originally told me connect to God and I don’t judge any of this, so whatever you want to call God, oneness, source, Buddha, _____ Universe, I don’t care.  I have my own definition of it, but the first is to connect to your highest self, if you like.  To connect with the enormous spiritual beings that you really are because you are a spiritual being.  You are housed in a human temple and this is a lump of protoplasm. So number one, connect to all that is, if you want to call it that or connect to your higher self or connect to yourself and number two, is to serve others.  And that is the single fastest way to find joy.  And it’s very easy to say it and write it, but that connecting to your higher self to yourself, to source, to whatever you want to call it, is something that once you stop to do it, peels away a whole lot of layers on the onion that need to be explored and that can be a little challenging to explore, but then that’s called the growth mindset, that’s wanting to find your joy and that’s how you find it.  And then in the meantime while you are on that process of reconnecting with whoever we are, if you’re serving others, it makes the journey much more enjoyable.

 

KEVIN:

Hmmm… yes, so linking to your higher self and actually serving others and Amanda, from that point of view, then I know that you have put together a brand new program online that helps people develop this and experience this further.  So could you tell us a little bit about your online program, please?

 

AMANDA:

Yeah, I would be thrilled to, thank you very much.  I based it on the book.  I am not very big on books that are incredibly complex because I know as a human I don’t do really complex things.  I like simple and effective.  So the book is based on for each secret of joy and one is gratitude, one’s compassion, there’s reverence, there’s inner peace as the last one, hope, energy and vitality, it covers pretty much everything.  For each one there is a daily activity and the brain actually revises itself.  If you continue a different activity for 3 lots of 3 weeks, so that’s pretty much 9 weeks the neuroscience is showing.  So I wrote it to be, I think it’s for [0:17:04] days, so it’s a little bit over the 9 weeks and the purpose of that is to literally rewire your brain because you are using your  brain in a different way and you laying down [0:17:15] your pathways.  So everyday there’s a meditation that takes only 5 or 10 minutes, so it’s very simple and we have joy journals that you jot notes down in each day whatever time you like about what you learned so that’s [0:17:29] kinesthetically so you got the auditory without the kinesthetic.  There’s pdf’s to read, there’s videos to watch and very simple activities.  For example, one day the exercise in the ____ column is to be a good finder.  So your task for that day is that no matter what happens to you and no matter where you go and with whom you interact, you find good in it.  And it’s amazing you can always do it.  If you choose to focus on it, you can do it.  And just that tiny little thing creates such a monumental shift in your mindset and we now know that shifting your mindset shifts everything in life.  And I’m digressing a little bit, but this is part of the program as well.  There are so many complex concepts [0:18:12] that we sometimes forget to look at the simple, the basic.  And the essence is that everything in life is about our thinking and that’s not new.  People have been saying it forever, but how many of us actually stop and become conscious, wake up to what it is that we are actually saying to ourselves.  And what we say to ourselves, when we repeat the same phrase, it becomes the story and the belief that we tell ourselves.  So now you have a belief.  Repeated thoughts become a belief.  You can preview those beliefs together and we have got a mindset.  And that mindset will determine your life and if it’s a fixed mindset, ‘Well, I don’t need to do that ___ I don’t need to do this because, you know, I have got it all’ or ‘I’m already doing this and this and this and I don’t need to do anything.’  Just understand that many of the problems we have in our lives is because we have a fixed mindset towards it, I’m right, you’re wrong.  And it’s so easy to say I’m right, you’re wrong.  But that’s the belief that there is a right and there is a wrong.  And we could debate that for days and it’s not [0:19:11] now.  But I’m trying to say the difference between a fixed mindset, where you believe you’re right, which is a very human thing to do and the growth mindset, which is where you’re willing to look at things differently and explore things and perhaps have a new point of view.  A different way to think because then that will change everything.  So the whole program is designed to help people think differently and lock that different thinking into brain neurologically, so we wire the brain.

 

KEVIN:

Yeah, great and I really recognize in that through that process, Amanda, you call it ‘Joy-ercise’ like an exercise, but for joy is the taking of the action repeatedly that’s gonna help make that shift.

 

AMANDA:

Yes, but it’s not a sort of a boring repetition.  It’s not that we have to do the same thing everyday because each day is a different simple and easy exercise.  But because they are all lighting up different parts of the brain but in that same area, it’s still helping rewire it.

 

KEVIN:

Wonderful!  Amanda, one of the key questions we have on the show is around also the quality of the questions we ask ourselves which also relates into our thinking because the quality of the questions we ask of ourselves really impacts the quality of the life that we lead to.  I wonder if you could tell us what’s the one question that you’ve asked that’s had the biggest positive impact on your life or the life of the people you serve?

 

AMANDA:

I gave that question a lot of thought, Kevin, because it’s a tricky one.  There are so many questions, but I think the core question is ‘What is it in me that is causing me to feel this way?’  So it’s a question that when I feel uncertain, unhappy, angry, [0:20:48] whatever it is, anything other than joy, if I ask myself that question, it puts the focus back on where the issue lies.  It isn’t outside and it may be that somebody else is doing something that’s inappropriate or not kind, but the reaction that I’m having to it, is always my responsibility.  So when I look at what is it in me that’s causing me to feel this way, I try to focus on okay, what am I scared of right now and do I have an agenda.  So there are two components.  What’s the fear and do I have an agenda?  And I try, maybe a ____ a step ahead of some people who are listening and some people who are in my audiences.  And I still ask myself when I’m talking with others, yeah, what is my agenda here?  Do I have an agenda? Because I would rather not have an agenda apart from being present and responding to what’s happening in front of me.  I would like that to me my agenda.  Most of the time it’s not my agenda, but I’m getting better.

 

KEVIN:

[0:21:53] if we are open to have a growth mindset on that and not be in a fixed, but what I love about that question is, what is it in me that’s causing me to feel this way. So it really focuses us on what can we change ourselves, within our control.  The two things [0:22:07] it will help identify what’s our fear and what’s the agenda that we have.  Amanda, have you got an example of how that’s shifted something for you and changed something for you or for one of your clients?

 

AMANDA:

Ohhhh!  I can probably give you 312 of them where I have been fighting with my husband.  I think one of the easiest ways is to look at our personal relationships because they are such fantastic mirrors for what’s going on inside us.  So you could pick in the event really.  We could be fighting over something as trivial as, I don’t know, how you load the dishwasher and he puts the dishwasher on before its super full and that drives me nuts because I hate wasting water.  Now if you just superficially look at that, it’s ridiculous.  I mean, it will probably clean better if it’s not as full and what’s it matter if he does it anyway, but it would really bother me.  So I looked inside and I thought what is in it in me that’s makes me make this such a big deal?  And it took me ages to get there.  I am not [0:23:10] but I started to look in and I thought well, it’s not about just him doing that, it’s about wasting the water.  But really, do you waste water if you do that?  Well, probably not really.  And how important is it?  And why I’m responding like that and I think I got to a point where I started to recognize that there were elements of control within me that for some reason I was using the dishwasher to exert control.  I mean, we all do weird things all the time, we’ve no clue we are doing it.  So I’m not judging others and I’m not judging myself with these.  It just happened.  At least I had a growth mindset enough to look inside and try to work it out.  So by going through the process and trying to look at, alright, what is it in me that needs to control something as little as that.  And I think then it got back to me feeling, I’m safe from the alcoholic father and well, anyway i

could feel safe [0:24:06] control everything in my environment or those around me. And so once I started to put some links together, it was interesting because it just didn’t matter so much anymore.  And that’s the way it works.  When you go inside and you look at those things and you get to some core truths, I think, some core realizations then things just change without you having to do too much.  That’s why the book and the program are written the way they are because a lot of the changes happen without an enormous amount of conscious effort, but you still need to be very conscious in the process.

 

KEVIN:

Amanda, thank you for showing such a personal example as well.  I really do appreciate that.  Now since we are talking about that then, once you ask that question and you look in to make a change, I know you have a favourite four-letter ‘f’ word that you like to share regarding the secret to change.  I wonder if you could tell us a little bit about how we can use that to make any change that comes from this question?

 

AMANDA:

You are good, Kevin!  You are very good at this stuff.  Yes, folks it’s called farcing, but keep reading because it’s f-a-r-c and it is a scientific formula, so if you want to change something, the ‘f’ stands for focus.  We have to focus on what it is that we want to change.  But just remember back in my example with the dishwasher, I had to become conscious of every time I would start to get upset because it wasn’t full enough and I had to hold that focus as I became ‘a’ aware of the triggers that were driving that behaviour.  So first of all, you’ve got to focus on the behaviour or more importantly, the pattern of thinking that causes the behaviour because all behaviour is caused by your thinking unless of course its knee-jerk reaction and that’s usually kind of a shock response.  So 90% of behaviour is caused by the thinking.  Then we have to become aware of the triggers that drive the pattern of thinking of behaviour and that’s almost always the fears that I have talked about.  The ‘r’, ‘far’ stands for repeat.  We have to repeat the new behaviours because the first time your ‘farc’; think driving a car.  You are sitting in a car, you’re [0:26:13] your parent is ___ you’re trying to drive and your parent’s screaming ‘Stop, stop, stop’ at you and you’re thinking how, how because so much new is happening, your brain’s exploding.  Well, now I guarantee most of you will be driving home while you’re on the phone, eating something, listening to the radio and doing four other things and you get home and you don’t even know how you got there.  That’s because you ‘farc’ so often with driving. In the early days, you had your first ‘farc’ so to speak and that’s a time it was stressful on the brain and each time you do that same activity, thought process, you are repeating it, that groove that’s established out of the first ‘farc’ becomes deeper and deeper and deeper until finally it’s such a deep groove in the brain that it becomes an automatic process.  And once you’ve focussed on what it is that you want to change, you become aware of the triggers driving it, the fears, you have repeated the new patterns that you want to embed, and your scene changes then the ‘c’ stands for celebrate.  It’s really important to celebrate and I’m just about to add a new, I say to the people turn to the person next to you and say I’m a ‘farcer’. Well, the extra two parts, it’s very important to celebrate because that’s immense, the new learning in the brain.  Then the ‘er’ which isn’t actually in the book, this so new, stands for to experience the feelings.  So experiencing the feelings, it really makes it embed into your cellular memory and the ‘r’ is to remember it.  So remind yourself that you ‘farced’ and ‘re-farced’ and truly most of us, Alvin Toffler, the great futurist said, ‘Intelligence in the future will be measured by the ability to learn, unlearn, and re-learn.’  My vision of it is to ‘farc’, ‘unfarc’, and ‘re-farc’.

 

KEVIN:

Ha, ha, ha!  I love that.  And yours is very easy to remember.  That’s gonna stick in the brain.  I’m absolutely sure not going to be difficult to remember that the ‘farc’ analogy over there.  The ‘farc-er’ analogy [0:28:14].  Amanda, you’ve achieved so much in your life and in your career.  You’ve had a very successful career.  What I’d love to hear from you is, what’s may be one thing that’s on your bucket list that you still aspire to achieve or still aspire to do or still aspire to be?

 

AMANDA:

Well, it’s a really boring answer, Kevin, I think because I thought about that one a lot too and now I have had so many extraordinary experiences in my life to speak [0:28:39] blessed to go to amazing places, meet amazing people.  I’m not sure that there’s any actual thing that’s on my bucket list, but I would really love to get and I will, one day, get to a place where I have inner peace and I have it all the time, no matter where I am, which will then allow me to create an environment that spreads that peace and allows other people to have an experience of it so that they can find that if they want it themselves.  So it’ll be boring, but actually that’s the main thing on my bucket list.

 

KEVIN:

Well, I’m not entirely sure it’s boring and it’s a very big ambition, a very big thing on your bucket list to tick off.  Do you feel, Amanda, you have glimpses of that right now, I mean, you are living in equanimity in certain times in your life and you’re out there in front of people helping them to do the same, so do you think you may have achieved that or be achieving that as you speak?

 

AMANDA:

Oh, yes, you know, I’m 62, Kevin.  May be 63.  And I have been working on this a long time now.  So yes, there are many moments where I’m [0:29:36] that I’ve realized it.  I think it’s a huge step in the right direction because again being conscious of it, I am not ruled unconsciously by the fears and I can make conscious choices which we have had times to talk about, but pretty much life changes when you make conscious choices because everything we do in life is a choice.  So my awareness is much better, so that no matter what happens now, more often I’m choosing the response that allows me to feel peace or joy and so that means I’m closer and closer all the time and I have also made a conscious decision that that’s what I want.  So both those things help me move in that direction.  And I will finish over the story.  I remember once when I was babysitting my niece and nephew, my sister has two children, whom I adore and they were probably 3 and 18 months at the time, and I was sitting at the side of the bath watching them splash and play and I picked [0:30:36] up in my arms and was cuddling her and drying her of and this incredible joy, peace, calm ___ feeling descended and I know both the kids felt it because she stopped squirming and just cuddled and he just lay there and smiled and it was the one of the most perfect moments of my life and that’s the sort of peace that I’m talking about where we’re just connected with everything and all is right in the world and the truth is Kevin, it’s going to challenge a whole lot of people, but at some level I truly believe everything is imperfectly perfect.  It may look crappy, it may feel crappy, it may sound crappy, but there’s a reason behind it all and its all perfectly imperfect even if it’s really shitty, it’s at some level and you know if you could choose to believe that then it gives you a whole different mindset around what happens and how it happens.

 

KEVIN:

Very powerful message and so really choose that peace and joy.  Make a conscious choice that you want the peace and the joy and then live for it, look for it, look for it around because things are perfectly imperfect.  And Amanda, this has been such a valuable call.  And I can’t thank you enough for your time, your energy, so before you go, one final question for you.  After our listeners have jumped on to your online program and they have read your book, if there was one other book that you would recommend for them to read, what would it be?

 

AMANDA:

It’s a book called ‘The Great Human Potential’ by Tom Kenyon and Wendy Kennedy. It’s been a Bible for me for some time.  Now I just wanna want people really [0:32:21] they gonna think I’m a space __ and all that stuff and they probably will, but just remember that I’m 63 and I have been studying for a long time and exploring gazzillions of different strategies, approaches, and ways of thinking, and it’s just a book particularly resonant for me at the moment and I think it’s full of an awful lot of truths and gives us a tremendous number of strategies to enable us to change the way we want to change.

 

KEVIN:

Fantastic.  And so if you’re listening and you are interested in that book or interested in accessing Amanda’s online course, check in the page notes.  You can access all of the details there on kevinbees.com/podcast or in your iTunes ___.  Amanda, thank you so much for your time and energy today.  You have been absolutely fantastic.

 

AMANDA:

Thank you, Kevin.  You are a wonderful interviewer.  Thank you very much and thanks everyone for listening.

 

Thanks so much for listening to the life-changing questions podcast with your host, Kevin Bees.  We’ll catch you next time.

 

Hey, you are on bonus time right now on the life-changing questions podcast and I’ve got three bonuses that I would like to share with you and I call them the three S’s.  The first ‘S’ is for Show Notes; don’t forget you can get all of the details of the show including the names of the books that were mentioned, the key people that were mentioned on kevinbees.com.  The second ‘S’ is Subscribe.  Make sure you subscribe to the show.  We’re going to be releasing a new episode every single week and our guests are just getting better and better. And I’ve got the third ‘S’, Share it; your friends, family, colleagues, loved ones are really gonna appreciate it when you share such great content with them.  That’s it from me and make sure you are asking life-changing questions this week.

 

 

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